Temper Tantrums: Definition, How To Deal, And Prevention

Updated: Published: | ByPamela Li

A temper tantrum is an intense outburst of negative emotions, often involving crying, screaming, or physical aggression, commonly seen in children aged 1 to 4. Tantrums often erupt when children feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or powerless. Tantrums are very common and a normal part of child development.

Major signs that foreshadow a temper tantrum include clenched fists, whining and sudden irritability. Typical tantrum behaviors in young children include crying, screaming, kicking, hitting, throwing objects, falling to the ground, stomping their feet, holding their breaths, and yelling “No”.

Lacking vocabulary to express themselves, ability to reach a desirable outcome, and emotional regulation skills are the major reasons why children have temper tantrums. Hunger, fatigue, overstimulation, and perceived unfairness are common triggers.

Temper tantrums tend to peak between 18 and 36 months and decrease in frequency and intensity after age four, according to a 2023 study titled “Developmental Pathways from Preschool Temper Tantrums to Later Psychopathology,” conducted by Caroline P Hoyniak et al. at Washington University in St. Louis and published in Development and Psychopathology.

The best tip in dealing with temper tantrums is to stay calm and model how to regulate emotions in difficult situations. Coregulating and guiding teaches children self-regulation. The most effective long-term strategy for preventing temper tantrums is to prioritize socio-emotional skills development, rather than focusing solely on suppressing tantrum behaviors.

Severe or persistent tantrums in older children sometimes indicate underlying mental health concerns. Parents are advised to seek professional help if tantrums are frequent, prolonged, involve self-harm, or require constant external assistance to calm down.

temper tantrums

What Is A Temper Tantrum?

A temper tantrum is a sudden, intense display of negative emotions, typically characterized by screaming, crying, kicking, and sometimes aggression towards oneself or others. These outbursts are often disproportionate to the triggering event. Temper tantrums arise from a child’s experiencing distress and the inability to manage their emotional impulses effectively. Distress that causes tantrums includes frustration, lack of verbal expression skills, confusion from routine change, fatigue, hunger, overstimulation, and illness.

Tantrums are common in young children, particularly between the ages of one and four, according to a 1991 study from Canada titled “Temper tantrums,” conducted by Leung, A. K., and Joel E. Fagan at the University of Calgary and published in American family physician. Understanding tantrum meaning helps parents and caregivers approach tantrum episodes with empathy and strategies for emotional guidance…

How Common Are Temper Tantrums?

Temper tantrums are very common in young children, especially between the ages of one and four. 83.7% of preschoolers had tantrums in a sample of 1,490 children between the ages of 3 and 5. 8.6% of preschoolers had daily tantrums, according to a 2012 study titled “Defining the developmental parameters of temper loss in early childhood: implications for developmental psychopathology,” by Lauren S Wakschlag, published in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry.

tantrum rate

Temper tantrum prevalence follows a quadratic trajectory across the first few years of life, with a high prevalence (87%) in 18 to 24 months, slightly increased (91%) in 30 to 36 months, and then sharply decreased (59%) in 42 to 48 months, according to a 2023 study titled “Developmental Pathways from Preschool Temper Tantrums to Later Psychopathology,” conducted by Caroline P Hoyniak et al. at Washington University in St. Louis and published in Development and psychopathology. These research findings highlight that temper tantrums are a normal part of early childhood development.

Temper tantrums are most common during early childhood because children start to become mobile and are rapidly developing their sense of autonomy and mastery over their environment. Emotional growth and social understanding also grow during this period. They begin to have a wide range of emotions. However, children lack the language skills to express themselves and the emotion-regulating skills to control their feelings.

Tantrums generally decrease with age. An older kid throwing tantrums occasionally is normal. However, it is important to monitor frequency, intensity, and duration. Severe tantrum outbursts in children from ages 9 to 16 years are associated with mental health issues later, such as anxiety or depressive symptoms. Parents should consult mental health professionals when indicators such as perceived problems, need for help, use of specialty mental health or school services, school suspension, parental burden, impairments, anxiety symptoms, or depression symptoms are observed. The findings are discussed in a 2015 study titled “Normative Irritability in Youth: Developmental Findings From the Great Smoky Mountain Study,” by William E Copeland et al., published in the Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry.

common tantrum ages

Are Toddler Tantrums A Normal Part Of A Child’s Development?

Yes, toddler tantrums are a normal part of a child’s development, particularly during preschool. Research indicates nearly all preschoolers experience occasional tantrums. Approximately 83.7% have tantrums sometimes, while 8.6% experience them daily.

Toddler temper tantrums commonly occur between the ages of one and four years and are a common response to distress due to their inability to manage their emotional impulses effectively. Tantrums in toddlers are common during a child’s development as toddlers begin to develop a sense of autonomy but lack the language skills to express or emotion-regulating skills to control their feelings.

What Are The Two Types Of Tantrums?

The two types of tantrums are emotional meltdowns and non-emotional tantrums. The 2 types of tantrums are listed below.

  • Emotional Meltdowns: Emotional meltdowns are uncontrollable tantrums from frustration, distress, or feeling overwhelmed. The child is genuinely upset and unable to control and regulate emotions. An example of an emotional meltdown is when a child cries inconsolably after failing to tie shoes. Providing comfort and helping the child label emotions help address emotional meltdowns.
  • Non-emotional Tantrums: Non-emotional tantrums are intentional, typically occurring to gain attention or desired outcomes. Non-emotional tantrums involve deliberate, controllable actions like refusal to comply with requests. For example, a child whose request to buy a toy was denied starts yelling and throwing items to try to change the parent’s decision. Ignoring the child is effective for non-emotional tantrums because giving in reinforces the disruptive behavior, making the tantrum more likely to happen again. Offering choices and setting clear boundaries help address tantrums that are controllable.

Why Do Kids Throw Tantrums?

Kids throw tantrums often due to frustration, unmet needs, and sudden changes. Young children have limited language skills to communicate and immature emotional regulation to manage their feelings. 6 common causes of “why do toddlers throw tantrums” are listed below.

  • Frustration: Young children are at the stage of forming independence but the inability to achieve their goals and desires often leads to frustration. Children lack the ability to process intense emotions, resulting in anger outbursts to express frustration. Toddlers with language deficits or autism spectrum disorder (ASD) experience tantrums more frequently because of difficulties in verbally communicating emotions, according to a 2023 study titled “Temper tantrums,” conducted by Laura L. Sisterhen and Paulette Ann W. Wy, published in StatPearls.
  • Unmet Needs: A child throws a tantrum when basic needs, such as hunger, sleep, or comfort, are unfulfilled, as noted in the 2019 study titled “Relations between toddler expressive language and temper tantrums in a community sample,” by Brittany L. Maning et al., published in Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology. Hunger or tiredness creates a feeling of distress, leading to emotional outbursts.
  • Disappointment: Kids display tantrums when certain access, activity, or outcome is denied or delayed. For example, a child screams or collapses when a requested toy is unavailable. The inability to manage disappointment or delay gratification typically causes the emotional outbursts.
  • Sudden Changes: Unexpected changes in routine are often temper tantrum causes. Sudden disruption in what young kids are doing confuses and upsets the child, resulting in uncontrollable outbursts.
  • Attention-Seeking: Children who feel ignored engage in attention-seeking behaviors to regain focus from caregivers or peers. Negative behaviors serve as attempts to provoke a response. Repeated instances of being overlooked reinforce the use of tantruming, as kids learn that negative actions effectively capture attention.
  • Task Avoidance: Some kids use tantrums to resist or postpone compliance with demands. For example, challenging or undesirable tasks like cleaning up toys or leaving a play area cause a child to scream, cry, and stomp feet.

why kids throw tantrums

When Do Babies Start Throwing Tantrums?

Babies start throwing tantrums between 12 to 18 months when they start to learn to walk. Toddler’s mobility, lack of language to express their needs, and restrictions imposed by parents often cause emotional outbursts.

Do Toddler Tantrums Mean I’m A Bad Parent?

No, toddler tantrums do not mean you are a bad parent. Having temper tantrums is a normal part of a child’s development. Learning to walk involves taking steps and falling. A toddler falling doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. Emotional regulation develops involves experiencing intense emotions and struggling to manage them. Failing to control emotions is part of learning to self-regulate, just like falling is part of learning to walk.

What Are The Signs Of Temper Tantrums?

Signs of temper tantrums include crying, yelling, throwing objects, and breath-holding. 10 signs of temper tantrums are listed below.

  • Crying or Screaming: Crying is the most common tantrum behavior, according to the 2003 study titled “Temper tantrums in young children: 1. Behavioral composition,” by Michael Potegal and Richard J. Davidson, published in Journal of Development and Behavioral Pediatrics. Loud, intense vocal expressions follows, observed in 40% of children in the study.
  • Throwing Objects: Children often displace anger to other objects by throwing toys, household items, or other objects within reach. Others stomp or kick nearby objects.
  • Falling to the Ground: A kid throwing tantrum stiffens the body, flails arms, and collapses to the floor to show protest.
  • Aggressive Movements: Some tantruming kids show aggression, including hitting, biting, pushing, or hurting another person.
  • Breath-holding, or Changing: Breath-holding spells occur when a child cries briefly, falls silent, and unintentionally stops breathing. Dysregulation in the autonomic nervous system triggers the spells, which causes higher resting heart rate and diastolic blood pressure during tantrums.
  • Refusal to Cooperate: A child in tantrum refuses to follow instructions or comply with requests. Some kids sit down in protest or attempt to run away. Others repeatedly say “no” to reject.
  • Difficulty Calming Down: Tantruming children struggle to regain emotional control after a triggering event.
  • Whining: Older children show prolonged complaining in a high-pitched tone.
  • Demanding: Children make repeated requests for a specific item or action.
  • Negative Self-talk: Ollder children make statements like “I can’t do anything right!.”

How Many Tantrums A Day Is Normal?

An average of 6.2-8.7 tantrums per week (approximately once a day) in toddler is normal”, according to a 2003 study titled “Temper tantrums in young children:1. Behavioral composition,” conducted by Michael Potegal and Richard J. Davidson at University of Wisconsin and published in Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics.”

What Are Considered Severe Tantrums?

Tantrums are considered severe if they show 5 high-risk “tantrums styles”, according to a 2008 study titled “Temper Tantrums in Healthy Versus Depressed and Disruptive Preschoolers: Defining Tantrum Behaviors Associated with Clinical Problems,” by Andy C. Belden et al., published in The Journal of Pediatrics.

  • Aggression: Consistent display of aggression directed at caregivers, violently destructive behavior toward objects, or both more than half of the time during the last 10-20 tantrum episodes.
  • Self-harm: Intentionally engage in self-injurious behavior during tantrums regardless of tantrum frequency, duration, intensity, or context.
  • Frequency: Display 10 to 20 discrete tantrum episodes on separate days at home, during 30 days, or on average, tantrums last more than 5 tantrums a day on multiple days while at school or outside of home/school
  • Duration: Lasting more than 25 minutes, on average.
  • Unable to Calm: Unable to calm themselves and frequently require external assistance from a caregiver, regardless of tantrum intensity, frequency, or context

These indicators are general guidelines listed in the study and have not been empirically established. Seek help from a mental health clinician if there is concern. Tantrums due to hunger, sleep problems, or illness are not considered alarming.

Do Temper Tantrums Differ Based On Parenting Style?

Yes, temper tantrums differ based on parenting styles. Different parenting styles have diferent levels of structure, emotional support, and guidance, influencing how children regulate emotions. Warm and responsive parenting typically helps children express emotions more effectively. Controlling parenting behaviors leads to frustration and resentment, increasing the likelihood of tantrums.

The four main parenting styles are authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful.

Authoritative parenting balances high, clear expectations with warmth, responsiveness, and clear communication. Authoritative parenting results in fewer and less intense tantrums as children feel understood and secure. Aurhoritative parents provide appropriate guidance and emotional support, teaching children how to self-regulate emotions.effectively.

Authoritarian parenting enforces strict rules and high expectations without offering warmth or flexibility. Children with authoritarian parents tend to have more intense and frequent. Authoritarian parents emphase obedience and tend to use power assertion (punishment) to discipline. Children feel a lack of control and autonomy, leading to frustration and resistance.

Permissive parenting is lenient, offering warmth and support but lacking consistent boundaries or discipline enforcement. Children with indulgent parents tend to have more frequent tantrum as they learn to use this behavior to manipuate their parents and get what they want. Inconsistent discipline creates confusion about behavior acceptability and reinforces tantrum behavior.

Uninvoved parenting provides minimal attention, guidance, or structure, neglecting the child’s needs. Children with neglectful parents have more frequent and intense tantrums, according to a 2017 study titled “Parenting Style and Emotion Regulation in Mothers of Preschool Children. Neglected kids lack emotional support and guidance needed to develop healthy coping mechanism.

How To Deal With Toddler Tantrums?

To deal with toddler tantrums, follow the 7 steps below.

  1. Stay Calm: Remaining calm allows you to determine your goal. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) suggests ignoring tantrums if immediate cessation is the goal. Ignoring tantrums sometimes discourage the behavior, as attention reinforces it. However, understand the tantrum and teach emotional regulation if long-term emotional growth is the goal.
  2. Rule Out Common Triggers: Evaluate whether hunger, fatigue, or loneliness is the cause. Provide a snack or encourage rest if necessary. Anticipate and address basic needs to prevent emotional escalation.
  3. Offer Choices or Redirect Attention: Introduce simple options to engage thinking or distract younger children to shift focus.
  4. Co-regulate: Engage in a responsive interaction that mirrors and gently guides emotional states. Establish connection through eye contact and attentive listening. Reflect emotions to show understanding and gradually lead the child toward calmness. Adjust your expressions and tone as their mood changes.
  5. Validate and Coach Emotional Awareness: Acknowledge emotions and teach vocabulary for expressing feelings. Recognizing emotions helps build self-awareness and reduces reliance on tantrums for communication.
  6. Support Self-regulation: Offer comforting physical contact like hugs to promote calming through oxytocin release. If physical touch isn’t welcome, stay nearby and provide verbal reassurance while continuing validation and co-regulation.
  7. Reinforce Progress and Review Strategies: Highlight successes and encourage reflection. Celebrate attempts at self-regulation, even if they fall short, to motivate continued effort.

how to handle toddler tantrums

1. 18-Month-Old Temper Tantrums

18-month-old toddlers often have tantrums due to frustration with limited communication abilities. Tantrums are more likely to be tied to hunger, tiredness, or illness. To handle 18-month-old tantrums, distract or redirect the child since they tend to have short attention spans.

2. 2-Year-Old Temper Tantrums

2-year-old toddlers are excited about their emerging independence when they start to walk. Toddlers are often frustrated with the limits set by parents for their safety. To handle 2-year-old tantrums, redirect their action to prevent it. For example, replacing a breakable object with a sturdy alternative allows safe exploration and manipulation to continue.

3. 3-Year-Old Temper Tantrums

3-year-olds are often masters of saying “no” or “I don’t want to.” The preschoolers want to do things “by themselves” but are frustrated if they don’t succeed or are not allowed to try. To handle 3-year-old tantrums, allocate extra time to support activities like learning to tie shoelaces to prevent frustration.

4. 4-Year-Old Temper Tantrums

4-year-olds start to develop emotional regulation skills. Some 4-year-olds have tantrums to seek attention, test boundaries, or attempt to negotiate during tantrums. To handle 4-year-old tantrums, provide consistent boundaries and clear expectations, avoid reinforcing attention-seeking behaviors, and acknowledge negotiation attempts while maintaining appropriate limits.

5. 5-Year-Old Temper Tantrums

5-year-olds develop a stronger sense of right and wrong. Some 5-year-olds have tantrums when they perceive something as unfair. Navigating friendships and social dynamics sometimes leads to frustration or feelings of exclusion. To handle 5-year-old tantrums, acknowledge their emotions, and help them articulate what feels unfair. Encourage problem-solving and provide opportunities for cooperative play to build social skills and reduce frustration.

6. 6-Year-Old Temper Tantrums

6-year-olds transition from early to middle childhood, often accompanied by a growing sense of responsibility and academic pressures. Some 6-year-olds have tantrums when they feel overwhelmed or struggle with new challenges. To handle 6-year-old tantrums, offer reassurance, and break big tasks into manageable steps. Encourage self-expression through words or creative outlets, such as drawing, to help them process emotions constructively.

7. 7-Year-Old Temper Tantrums

7-year-olds develop a deeper understanding of emotions. Some 7-year-olds still struggle with impulse control. Tantrums arise from a desire for autonomy or frustration with complex expectations. To handle 7-year-old tantrums, focus on teaching coping strategies, such as taking deep breaths, expressing needs through words, and stepping away to calm down. Reinforce the value of communication by helping them express their feelings and work collaboratively to resolve their frustrations.

What To Do After A Child Tantrum?

Reconnect, acknowledge feelings, and practice labeling emotions after a child’s tantrums. The 9 things to do after a child’s tantrum are listed below.

  1. Reconnect and Comfort: Offer a hug or reconnect once a child calms down to help the child feel safe and loved after a stressful experience.
  2. Speak Calmly: Use a gentle tone of voice o show that you’re there for them and that you are not angry with them.
  3. Acknowledge Feelings: Acknowledge the child’s feelings and validate the frustration, even if the reason appears trivial. For example, say, “Feeling upset about not getting another cookie makes sense.”
  4. Praise Regulation Effort: Acknowledge the child’s attempts to regulate emotions, despite unsuccessful this time, to build self-awareness and a growth mindset. Be specific in your praise, “I noticed how hard you were trying to calm down by taking deep breaths, even though you were still feeling angry. That was really brave,” or “I’m proud of you for trying to use your words.” Focus on the positive change to motivate them to keep practicing emotion regulation,
  5. Label Emotions: Talk about how they felt during the tantrum (e.g., angry, frustrated, sad). Tantrums are partly caused by the inability to communicate feelings verbally. Teach the child to use words express their feelings.
  6. Practice Calming Techniques: Teach the child or practice with them simple calming techniques such as taking deep breaths. Point out how good it feels when you take a slow, deep breath and then relax.
  7. Teach Problem-Solving: Discuss possible solutions if the tantrum was triggered by a specific problem. Help the child learn how to handle similar situations in the future.
  8. Move On Appropriately: The duration needed to reflect on the experience depends on the intensity of the tantrum and the child’s ability to self-regulate. Follow your child’s cues. Move on if your child is ready to move on. Offer more comfort and support if they are still upset.
  9. Consider Professional Help If Needed: Consult a pediatrician or child psychologist if tantrums are frequent, severe, or accomanied by behavioral concerns, such as self-harming or aggression.

what should i do after temper tantrum in toddler

When Can You Ignore A Toddler’s Tantrum?

You can ignore a toddler’s tantrum if it is driven by attention-seeking behavior in a safe environment. Ignoring helps reduce attention-seeking tantrums by removing reinforcement, according to a 2011 study titled “Assessment, management, and prevention of childhood temper tantrums,” by Elizabeth Daniels et al., published in American Academy of Nurse Practitioners. However, misinterpreting genuine emotional needs as manipulation risks neglecting essential guidance. Parents are recommended not to ignore toddler tantrums.

Accurately identifying a child’s emotional needs poses challenges to many parents who underestimate their children’s emotional struggle, according to a 2013 study titled “Parental and children’s report of emotional problems: agreement, explanatory factors, and event-emotion correlation,” by Nathalie Michels et al., published in Child and Adolescent Mental Health. Hostile attribution bias, where behavior is viewed as intentionally defiant, further complicates assessments. This bias was examined a 2017 study titled “Do hostile attributions and negative affect explain the association between authoritarian beliefs and harsh parenting?,” by Crouch, Julie L et al., published in Child Abuse & Neglect.

Ignoring a todder’s tantrums doesn’t teach them how to manage their emotions effectively. Ignoring encourages emotional suppression rather than resolution. Parents are not recommended to ignore their toddler’s tantrums because of these reasons.

What Not To Do When Handling Child Tantrums?

Things not to do when handling a child’s tantrums include yelling, punishing, or giving in to demands. 8 things not to do when dealing with a child’s tantrums are listed below.

  • Losing Temper: Yelling at the child during tantrums intensifies the emotions. The child becomes increasingly more frustrated, overwhelmed, or scared by the situation, making emotional regulation more difficult. Showing calmness during tantrums models how to handle difficult situation to the child, as noted in the 2012 study titled “Parental influences on children’s self-regulation of energy intake: insights from developmental literature on emotion regulation,” conducted by Leslie A. Frankel et al. and published in Journal of Obesity.
  • Punishing: Punishment tends to make the child more upset, esculating their feelings of frustration, confusion, or fear. Tantrums are often the result of emotion dysregulation. Punishment does not teach the child regulation and makes the temper tantrum worse.
  • Reasoning: A tantruming child isn’t able to reason. Trying to reason or negotiate often increases the child’s frustration.
  • Invalidating: Dismissing a child’s emotions increases frustration and emotional distress. Do not minimize or make fun of the child’s feelings. Acknowledging feelings without necessarily agreeing with the behavior helps the child feel understood.
  • Taking Tantrums Personally: Tantrums are the expression of out-of-control emotions. Tantrums are not a personal attack. Remaining objective allows for better guidance and support, helping the child learn self-regulation.
  • Bribing: Bribing encourages the idea that disruptive behavior leads to rewards. Offering immediate incentives to stop crying or acting out provides short-term relief, but does not teach emotional regulation.
  • Giving In: Giving in during a goal-driven tantrum reinforces the behavior by teaching the child that tantrums are an effective way to get what they want. Caving in leads to more frequent and intense tantrums.
  • Overreacting: Making a scene gives the child the attention they’re likely seeking and reinforces the behavior.

what not to do after temper tantrums

What If A Child Becomes Destructive Or Dangerous?

Destructive or dangerous behaviors during temper tantrums include aggression toward the caregiver, hitting others, throwing objects, property destruction, and self-harming. Ensuring the safety of the child and others is the priority. The child must be moved to a safe location. Moving the child to a safer place minimizes the risks of physical injury to the child, caregivers, or anyone nearby. Remove dangerous objects that are within reach. Take a deep breath. Gently hold the child and move to a safer place. Offer comfort and support by asking the child to take deep breaths.

Identify what causes the tantrum and try to resolve the trigger. Address the child’s physical needs if the tantrum is due to hunger, tiredness, or sleepiness. Identify the triggers. Understanding the patterns helps you anticipate and manage activities.

Call the emergency, the pediatrician, or a child psychiatrist if the tantrum cannot be calmed or if the child or others are in danger. Consult a mental health professional, such as a therapist or a counselor, to identify behavioral causes and solutions. Trauma, mental health disorders, and developmental disorders are some of the causes of extreme tantrums. Find local support programs for family assistance.

Set clear, reasonable boundaries. Apply consistent and fair discipline at home. Offer praise and rewards to reinforce positive behavior. Create a nurturing environment to provide love and acceptance to support your child’s emotional growth.

Can Temper Tantrums Be Prevented?

Yes, tantrums can be prevented. Identifying a child’s triggers helps prevent emotional escalation. For example, providing healthy snacks regularly knowing that a child uncontrollably cries when hungry prevents potential tantrums.

Long-term prevention strategies for temper tantrums include helping a child label and regulate emotions, as noted in the 2022 study titled “Tantrums, toddlers and technology: Temperament, media emotion regulation, and problematic media use in early childhood,” conducted by Sarah M. Coyne et al. and published in Computers in Human Behavior.

Establishing consistent routines helps a child understand appropriate behaviors, reducing frustrations. For example, a consistent bedtime routine helps a child understand that nighttime is for sleeping. The routine encourages calm behavior before bed and reduces resistance to sleep.

Establish clear boundaries while offering alternatives. For instance, if pounding a fragile object is not allowed, provide a safe and appropriate option for pounding instead of banning the activity entirely.

How Can Discipline Help Prevent Temper Tantrums?

Discipline can help pevent temper tantrums by setting clear guidelines, avoiding power assertion, emotional-coaching, teaching self-control skills, reinforcing positive behavior, and having structure and routine. Disciplining a child is teaching a child how to behavior. Approaches that rely on collaboration, rather than imposing authority, create a cooperative dynamic, reducing defiance and emotional escalations.

Setting consistent rules ensures understanding of acceptable behavior, reducing confusion and frustration. Distractions and comforting techniques work best for infants and toddlers with emotional outbursts, according to a 2004 study titled “Effective discipline for children,” conducted by Peter Nieman et al. and published in Paediatrics & Child Health. Teaching methods for identifying and expressing emotions nurtures emotional intelligence, fostering healthier responses. Encouraging self-control practices helps prevent reactive behaviors. Rewarding constructive actions strengthens desirable habits and discourages attention-seeking outbursts. Predictable daily patterns provide stability, lowering anxiety and emotional overwhelm.

When To Seek Professional Help For Temper Tantrums?

Seek professional help for temper tantrums when you are concerned about your child, or when tantrums become too frequent, intense, or disruptive. Look out for the 5 high-risk “tantrums styles”, according to a 2008 study titled “Temper Tantrums in Healthy Versus Depressed and Disruptive Preschoolers: Defining Tantrum Behaviors Associated with Clinical Problems,” by Andy C. Belden et al., published in The Journal of Pediatrics.

First, frequent and intense aggression directed toward caregivers or violently destructive actions toward objects in over half of the last 10–20 tantrum episodes is a cause for concern. Second, engagement in self-injurious behavior during tantrums, regardless of frequency, duration, intensity, or context, is always treated as serious. Third, occurrence of 10–20 tantrum episodes on separate days within 30 days or more than five tantrums daily on multiple days, whether at school, home, or elsewhere. Fourth, average tantrum duration exceeding 25 minutes. Lastly, frequent external assistance from caregivers is needed to calm down, irrespective of tantrum characteristics, requires professional help.

The study provides general guidelines that have not been empirically validated. Consulting a mental health clinician is advised if concerning behaviors persist. Temporary tantrums caused by hunger, sleep disruptions, or illness typically do not require intervention.

Persistent and extreme temper tantrums often indicate underlying psychiatric disorders, making professional help necessary, according to a 2019 study titled “Are tantrums in autism distinct from those of other childhood conditions? A comparative prevalence and naturalistic study,” conducted by Alexis Beauchamp-Chatel et al., published in Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders.

What Age Do Tantrums Stop?

Most children stop throwing tantrums or drop the frequency significantly around age 4, according to a 2003 study titled “Temper tantrums in young children:1. Behavioral composition,” conducted by Michael Potegal and Richard J. Davidson at University of Wisconsin and published in Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics. The study involving 1219 families revealed that only 59% of children aged 42-48 months had tantrums, a drastic drop from 91% at 30-36 months and 87% at 18-24 months.

What Does Parenting Styles Recommend About Temper Tantrums?

To get more help with children temper tantrums, Parenting Styles suggests the ebook Calm The Tantrums written by Stanford-trained parenting specialist, Pamela Li.