9 Ways on How to Deal with 18-Month-Old Tantrums
Dealing with 18 month old tantrums properly helps young children in emotional regulation development, reduces behavior esclation, and promotes a secure attachment. The 9 ways to handle 18 month tantrums are understanding the causes, having the right expectations, using distractions, empathizing, co-regulating, naming feelings, not giving in, preventing common triggers, and being mindful of the goal.
Ignoring 18 month old temper tantrums is appropriate if the behavior is attention-seeking and the situation is safe. Toddler tantrums at 18 months tend to be short-lived but intense outbursts.
18 months tantrum behaviors tend to be physical, such as toddler hitting head with hand, crying, screaming, arching the back, going limp, falling to the ground, kicking, hitting, throwing objects, and holding breath. Common triggers of tantrums at 18 months include frustration over limitations, inablity to comuunicate desires, transitions, separation anxiety, over-stimulation, fatigue, and hunger. Such triggers lead to overwhelming emotions that toddlers cannot handle. 18 month temper tantrums are often not manipulative or strategic.
To handle 18 month old tantrums, follow these 9 steps.
1. Understand What Causes 18-Month-Old Tantrums
When your 18-month-old has tantrums repeatedly, it’s frustrating for even the calmest parent.
But an 18-month-old isn’t throwing a baby temper tantrum to manipulate or get their way.
People’s brain development does not finish until their mid- or late twenties. Toddlers’ brains aren’t mature enough for such willful defiance.
These emotional meltdowns stem from a lack of emotional regulation skills.
At this stage in cognitive development, children are experiencing a world full of desires, frustrations, and feelings, yet they don’t have the language to express themselves adequately.
Imagine being in a foreign country where you don’t speak the language. You’re hungry, tired, or need something, but you can’t find the words to ask for it, and you cannot control intense emotions.
That’s how they feel.
And they’re expressing their feelings through tantrums.
During their angry outbursts, remaining calm and setting a positive example is essential, but it can be difficult for frustrated parents. So, it requires a shift in perspective.
Rather than seeing the tantrum as a battle to be won, view it as a cry for help from the little one who’s struggling.
The key is not for us to have control but to show compassion.
Recognize that your child isn’t misbehaving; they’re learning and growing.
This understanding turns a challenging moment into an opportunity for connection, growth, and nurturing.
It’s not about laying down the law; it’s about building a loving relationship and a solid foundation for your child’s emotional development.
2. Set the Right Expectations Yourself
You’ve likely read a lot of advice and tried various strategies, yet nothing seems to “work.”
It’s frustrating, but the issue often lies in your expectations and the goals you set rather than the methods used.
Expecting an 18-month-old to have perfect control over emotions because you’ve “tried everything” is akin to expecting a preschooler to grasp calculus.
No matter how many tricks and strategies you employ, nothing will “work” instantly without first building a foundation.
Why?
Because learning emotional regulating skills is a process, not a switch you can flip.
It’s a complex skill that requires time, patience, and repeated practice to develop.
Take a deep breath and redefine your success in dealing with childhood temper tantrums.
Your goal is not to instantly stop the 2-year-old’s tantrum but to patiently guide them in learning to regulate strong emotions, one small step at a time.
If your child throws the biggest tantrum in the grocery store, it doesn’t mean you are a bad parent.
It’s not a parenting failure.
It’s an opportunity for you to teach them an invaluable life lesson.
Being a good parent isn’t about what’s most convenient or what looks most “pulled together” to others. It’s about doing what’s best for your kid.
Focus on what’s best for your child.
When they have toddler temper tantrums, help them through patiently.
You are nurturing essential life skills and their social development.
No matter what others say, it’s not an embarrassment.
You’re doing what’s good for your child.
3. Distract
Distraction can be a handy tool for tantrums in 18-month-olds, often more so than 2-year-old tantrums.
They have a relatively short attention span.
This means their focus can be more easily shifted from the source of frustration to something more engaging.
Make a funny face, pull out a new toy, or rattle the keys. Do something pleasant quickly to distract.
4. Empathize and Co-regulate
Show your empathy through actions works more effectively in younger children than words.
Empathize by being attuned to their emotions and co-regulate with them.
Co-regulation involves continuously adjusting and adapting to be in sync with your child’s emotions.
That means you don’t laugh or shout angrily when your child is distressed.
Furrow your brow and slightly scrunch your face to display a controlled sign of distress. This facial expression tells the child that you recognize and are attuned to their feelings.
As the child’s emotions shift, mirror their expressions.
Gradually, as they calm down, ease your expression as well. This process of matching and responding to their emotions is co-regulation, and it helps in soothing and understanding the child’s feelings.
5. Help Them Regulate
Helping a child regulate their emotions can often be as simple as hugging them.
Most children feel better with a caring hug, as a positive touch is comforting and essential for their growth and well-being.
Hugging does not reward their tantrum. You are showing your love and care.
Parental love should be unconditional and not used as a reward or punishment.
However, if your child doesn’t like to be touched during a tantrum, you can stay close, hold their hands, or pat them on the back, continuing to co-regulate with them.
6. Name Their Feelings
Identifying and verbalizing feelings is a vital part of emotional regulation development.
Even if children may not fully comprehend the words for now, describe their feelings.
Help them recognize and articulate their emotions, especially when in distress.
Emotion coaching from parents is associated with better emotion regulation skills and less aggressive behavior in children.
Over time, they will learn to use their communication skills instead to express their frustration or get attention from grownups.
7. Don’t Give Up, and Don’t Give In
Just as counting, addition, and subtraction serve as the foundation for children to learn advanced math, having a solid relationship and the assurance that they can rely on us, no matter how difficult things may be, forms the foundation for their emotional growth.
Tantrums are crucial life experiences for children to learn how parents respond to their struggles.
If we ignore them or give up on helping them, we break their trust.
So don’t give up.
But we also cannot give in.
While exhausted parents are sometimes tempted to do this just once, succumbing to the demands that trigger the tantrums can make a child associate tantrums with success in meeting their needs.
Instead, stay firm, stay kind, and keep co-regulating.
8. Address Common Tantrum Triggers
Anticipate and mitigate situations that might lead to emotional temper tantrums.
Hunger, anger, loneliness, tiredness, and overstimulation are huge tantrum triggers that can be avoided with some advance planning.
9. Remind Yourself That The Goal is Not Stopping the Tantrum, But Helping Them Develop Emotional Regulation
The goal is to let your child experience regulating emotions during temper tantrums. Regulating is different from suppressing. It requires practice, guidance, and support.
Over time, this attentive parenting approach will likely reduce the duration and intensity of their tantrums, fostering their emotional growth and resilience.
Final thoughts on 18-month-old tantrums
There are many ways to stop toddler temper tantrums, such as ignoring, spanking, or using time-out, to name a few, which often make behavior worse.
But there is only one way that genuinely nurtures a child’s emotional growth – helping them learn to self-regulate emotions in a positive, nurturing environment.
While emotional toddler meltdowns are frustrating, reacting punitively or permissively won’t teach adaptive self-control. To discipline a child is to teach them with compassion, empathy, and guidance.
Emotion dysregulation is associated with a wide array of challenges in child development.
Helping our kids develop healthy emotional regulation skills is one of the most critical jobs in parenting.
With a loving approach that builds trust and emotional intelligence, you’ll nurture their growth and eliminate the need for tantrums over time.
More Help For Toddler Tantrums
To get more help with children temper tantrums, Parenting Styles suggests the ebook Calm The Tantrums written by Stanford-trained parenting specialist, Pamela Li.
References For 18-Month-Old Tantrums
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Daniels E, Mandleco B, Luthy KE. Assessment, management, and prevention of childhood temper tantrums. Journal of the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners. Published online July 2, 2012:569-573. doi:https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1745-7599.2012.00755.x
D’Agostino A, Covanti S, Rossi Monti M, Starcevic V. Reconsidering Emotion Dysregulation. Psychiatr Q. Published online February 14, 2017:807-825. doi:https://doi.org/10.1007/s11126-017-9499-6
What Readers Are Saying
I have to search this I formation because I take care a child having tantrums this morning and I can not handle sometime as you get old you have to teach yourself also to become calm when the situation happen I try to introduce this article to the parents so they will learn also what to do when facing their child tantrum