Psychological Effects Of The Death Of A Parent

Updated:July 1, 2025 | Published:January 8, 2025 | ByPamela Li

Losing a parent is one of the most traumatic events for children. 4.3% of children under age 18 have lost at least one parent, according to the 2021 U.S. Census Bureau’s Survey of Income and Program Participation (SIPP) published in the paper titled, “Losing Our Parents: Recent Statistics on Parent Mortality and Change During the Coronavirus (COVID-19) Pandemic.”

The psychological effects of the death of a parent in children is heterogeneous. Some children demonstrate resilience, but many experience persistent grief, dysphoria (a state of persistent unhappiness), and behavioral difficulties. Approximately 20% of children develop psychiatric disorders, according to a 2000 study titled “Annotation: Childhood bereavement following parental death,” by Dowdney, Linda, published in Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry.

The death of a parent in childhood is associated with an increased risk of separation anxiety, early-onset depression, posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), conduct disorder, substance abuse, and functional impairment. The risk of depression is highest in the first two years after bereavement, and is pronounced in younger children or under sudden or traumatic circumstances. Other psychological impacts include emotional issues, lower self-esteem, lower self-efficacy, social withdrawal, sadness, and pessimism about the future.

Early identification and treatment in bereaved youths and augmentation of family resilience is protective, according to a 2018 study titled “The Burden of Bereavement: Early-Onset Depression and Impairment in Youths Bereaved by Sudden Parental Death in a 7-Year Prospective Study,” by Steven Pham et al., published in American Journal of Psychiatry.

What Are The Psychological Effects Of Losing A Parent At A Young Age?

Psychological effects of losing a mother or father at a young age include mental health issues, emotional dysregulation, lower self-esteem, low self-efficacy, social withdrawal, sadness, grief, confusion, and academic difficulties, according to a 2006 study titled “Childhood bereavement: psychopathology in the 2 years postparental death,” by Julie Cerel et al., published in Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry.
The 10 psychological effects of losing a parent at a young age are listed below.

• Mental Disorders: Losing a parent in early childhood is associated with a higher risk of mental health issues, including separation anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and suicidal ideation, according to a 2010 study titled “Psychiatric symptoms in bereaved versus nonbereaved youth and young adults: a longitudinal epidemiological study,” by Julie B Kaplow et al., published in Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry.
• Emotional Issues: Bereaved children are at risk for anger, guilt, peer isolation, and loneliness.
• Low Self-esteem: Some children experience reduced self-esteem following the death of a parent.
• Low Self-efficacy: Bereaved Children are associated with lower self-efficacy.
• Social Withdrawal: Bereaved children tend to show higher levels of isolation and social problems, according to a 1996 study titled “Parental Death and the Adjustment of School-Age Children,” conducted by J. William Worden and Phyllis R. Silverman at Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School and published in OMEGA-Journal of Death and Dying.
• Sadness, Grief, and Confusion: Some children are sad and confused during the early period after their parent’s death.
• Pessimistic About the Future: Parental death threatens a child’s sense of security and controllability over the environment, resulting in higher pessimism about the future.
• Sleep disturbances: Some bereaved children develop sleeping problems following parental death.
• Increased Stress: Some children experience stress due to less financial stability within the family.
• Lower Academic Success: Some bereaved children have lower academic success, according to a 2022 study titled “School Outcomes Among Children Following Death of a Parent,” by Can Liu et al., published in JAMA Network Open. Others show more externalizing behavior, such as irritability.
  

What Are The Psychological Effects of Losing a Parent as a Teenager?

The psychological effects of losing a parent as a teenager include low self-esteem, behavioral problems, delinquency, and drug abuse, according to a 2017 study titled “Examining longer-term effects of parental death in adolescents and young adults: Evidence from the national longitudinal survey of adolescent to adult health,” by Feigelman, William et al., published in Death Studies.
The 7 psychological effects of having lost a parent as a teen are listed below.

1. Premature Death: Bereaved adolescents are at risk of premature death and suicide attempts.
2. Mental Health Issues: Bereaved teens have more severe and greater numbers of psychiatric difficulties, such as depressive symptoms.
3. Lower Academic Performance: Lower grades and more school failures are reported in bereaved teens. There are earlier school withdrawals and lower interest in attending college.
4. Delinquency: Teenagers with parental death have greater involvement in youth delinquency.
5. Lower Self-esteem: Self-esteem is lower among bereaved adolescents.
6. Drug Abuse: Bereaved teenagers are at risk of substance use.
7. Behavioral Issues: More issues with behavior, such as fighting, are found in teens who have lost parents.
   

What Are The Long-term Effects of Losing a Parent as a Teenager in Adulthood?

The long-term effects of losing a parent as a teenager include economic disadvantages, hesitancy in marriage, family conflicts, living alone, and depression, according to the same 2017 study titled “Examining longer-term effects of parental death in adolescents and young adults: Evidence from the national longitudinal survey of adolescent to adult health,” by Feigelman, William et al., published in Death Studies.
The 5 effects of parental death on a teenager in the long run are listed below.

1. Economic Disadvantages: Adults who have lost parents in adolescence tend to have lingering economic disadvantages due to less academic success or lower education levels.
2. Hesitancy to Marriage: Many young adults with parental loss during their teen years are hesitant to get married.
3. More Family Conflicts: Parentally bereaved young adults in the study were often forced out of their parental homes, suggesting more familial conflict and discord with their surviving parents.
4. Live Alone: More bereaved males, but not females, reported living alone in adulthood.
5. Depression: Heightened depression, increased suicidality, and diminished self-esteem are associated with adults who have experienced parental death in their teenage years.

What Are The Long-Term Effects Of Early Parental Loss in Adulthood?

The effects of losing a parent as a child in adulthood include trust issues, low self-esteem, loneliness, difficulty expressing feelings, continuity disruptions, and social support impact according to a 2013 study titled “The long-term impact of early parental death: lessons from a narrative study,” by Ellis, Jackie et al., published in the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine.
The 6 effects of adults having lost a parent in childhood are listed below

1. Trust and Relationship Issues: Early disruption of a primary attachment often leads to difficulties in trusting others, affecting the adult’s ability to form and maintain intimate relationships.
2. Low Self-esteem: Losing parental guidance and affirmation during critical developmental stages impacts a child’s developing sense of self, resulting in lower self-esteem and self-worth in adulthood.
3. Loneliness and Isolation: Growing up without a parent often leads to loneliness and isolation, both in childhood and later in life.
4. Difficulty Expressing Feelings: Not having adequate support or opportunities to process their grief during childhood sometimes leads to struggles in emotional expression as adults.
5. Continuity Disruptions: The abrupt change in a child’s life following parental loss sometimes causes long-term emotional difficulties and insecurity, creating challenges in adapting to new situations in adulthood.
6. Social Support Impact: The absence of adequate social support following the loss, such as from family, friends, or community, tends to exacerbate the adverse effects of bereavement, leading to more social difficulties in adult life.

Can Losing A Parent Cause Trauma?

Yes, losing a parent can cause trauma. The extent of trauma experienced from losing a parent largely depends on the family dynamics and parent-child relationships before the death, as well as the ability to maintain or rebuild the household’s stability and relationships afterward.

What Is The Worst Age To Lose A Parent?

There is no worst or best age to lose a parent. Adult children appear to have the hardest at first glance. Adults have had decades to build close relationships with their parents. Saying goodbye to a lifelong confidant often leaves a deep void. However, young children’s development tends to suffer from losing an attachment figure. Teenagers rely heavily on parents for guidance and support during adolescence. The loss disrupts children’s stability at a vulnerable time. Losing a parent is difficult, no matter when it happens as a result.

Each person’s grieving experience is unique and must not be compared. Offer compassion and support to all who mourn, regardless of age. The severity of the loss and the duration of grief is determined by multiple forces, including the individual’s preexisting personality, attachment style, genetic makeup and unique vulnerabilities, age, health, spirituality, cultural identity, support and resources, number of losses, the nature of the relationship (e.g., interdependent vs. distant, loving vs. ambivalent), and type of loss (sudden and unanticipated vs. gradual and anticipated, or natural causes vs. suicide, accident or homicide). The findings are detailed in a 2009 study titled “Grief and Bereavement: What Psychiatrists Need to Know,” by Zisook, Sidney, and Katherine Shear, published in World Psychiatry.

What Is The Average Age To Lose A Parent?

50 to 54 years old is the most common age at which people lose their mother (13.6%) and father (11.5%), according to the United States Census Bureau 2011 Survey.

Is Losing A Parent In the 20s Hard?

Yes, losing a parent in one’s 20s is challenging because such deaths are “off-time,” meaning they occur earlier than expected developmentally. The young adult typically is the only one among peers grieving the loss of a parent. The experience often feels intensely isolating without adequate social support or understanding from others, making the grieving process much harder. Young adults in their 20s or 30s tend to have more difficulty adjusting with losing a parent compared to middle-aged adults in their 50s, according to a 2015 study titled “The “How” and “When” of Parental Loss in Adulthood: Effects on Grief and Adjustment,” conducted by Bert Hayslip Jr et al. at the Department of Psychology, University of North Texas and published in OMEGA-journal of Death and Dying.

Is Losing A Parent In Your 30s Hard?

Yes, losing a parent in your 30s is hard because most people at your age expect their parents to live well into old age. There tend to be significant life changes like career, relationships, or having kids that your parents missed out on, bringing you deep sadness.

Is Losing A Parent In Your 40s Hard?

Yes, losing a parent in your 40s, or at any age, is hard. In your 40s, you likely have young kids, adding an extra layer of stress and sadness. Raising your children while grieving the loss of a parent feels overwhelming.

Your surviving parent is grieving losing their life partner. You need to provide a widowed parent with more emotional, social, or financial support. This often stirs up feelings about your aging and mortality. “If they died so young, how long do I have?”

Is Losing A Parent In Your 50s Hard?

Yes, losing a parent in your 50s is hard, although you have more emotional maturity to handle this than those in their 20s, 30s, or 40s, according to research.

In the 50s, the death of a parent sometimes brings a stark awareness of one’s aging process and mortality. Regrets, unresolved issues, lost opportunities for reconciliation, or deeper connections compound grief. Your parent’s premature death sometimes prompts introspection about your life achievements, goals, and future legacy.

How Can The Surviving Parent Help A Child Grieve The Loss Of A Parent?

To help a child grieve the loss of a parent, the surviving parent can seek therapy, discuss the issue openly, get support, and maintain a close relationship with the child. Ways to help a child grieve the loss of a parent are listed below.

• Seek Therapy: Research shows that children receiving therapy, individual or group, have reduced risk of anxious and depressive symptoms. Help the child seek therapeutic interventions.
• Discuss Openly: Studies have found that parents who are open and receptive to emotional dialogue often have children with more positive outcomes than those who do not discuss the loss and their emotions.
• Get Support: A strong emotional support network that “gets it” benefits the child.
• Maintain Relationship: The surviving parent maintaining a close relationship is important because they are a role model in teaching the child how to grieve.

How Can Others Help A Child Grieve The Loss of A Parent?

To help a child grieve the loss of a parent, others can ask, listen, validate feelings, and answer the child’s questions. Ways to support a child grieving the loss of a parent are listed below.

1. Ask: Different children grieve differently. Ask the child directly how they feel, what they need, and how they want to be helped. Encourage, but do not force, the child to talk about the loss. Don’t pretend nothing has happened.
2. Listen: Listen attentively when the child is ready to talk. Help the child express their feelings if they struggle to find words.
3. Validate: Acknowledge and validate the child’s feelings when the child expresses sadness.
4. Answer Accurately: Young children sometimes do not fully comprehend the permanence of death. Provide age-appropriate information and explanations about the death when the child asks questions. Be honest using simple, straightforward, and age-appropriate language.
5. Allow Mourning Participation: Allow the child to participate in mourning rituals and funeral services if the child wants to help.
6. Maintain Routines: Familiar routines provide children with security and stability.
7. Discipline to Teach: Focus on teaching to discipline rather than demanding compliance. Studies show that using reasoning to discipline works the best.
8. Help Retain Memories: Good memories provide great comfort to children. Help the child retain good memories that stay with them. Teach the child to retrieve this memory for comfort when they miss their parents. Creating an album or a memory box is another great way to keep good memories.
9. Reassure Safety: Assure children are in a safe space and they are cared for.
10. Check-in Regularly: Check in with the child, particularly on occasions such as Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. Ask how the child is doing. Show that you care and think about them.
11. Seek Help: Ask family members and close friends for extra support for the grieving parent and child. Seek professional help if needed.

What Are Words Of Sympathy For A Child Who Loses A Parent?

Here are 27 examples of words of sympathy for a child who loses a parent.

1. This must be very tough.
2. How are you feeling?
3. You are in my thoughts.
4. Do you want to talk?
5. I’m so sorry for your loss.
6. I’m here for you.
7. Do you want a hug?
8. Do you want to be left alone?
9. Is there anything you need?
10. It is ok to feel sad.
11. It is ok to cry. You are not weak.
12. It is normal to be scared.
13. Do you have any memories you want to share?
14. Come to me whenever you need to.
15. I love you.
16. You don’t have to talk. I am sitting next to you.
17. I am available to talk any time you want.
18. She loved you so much.
19. You don’t have to forget her.
20. She is proud of you.
21. Yes, it hurts. I’m so sorry.
22. Do you have any beautiful memories you want to share?
23. He was an amazing person and an amazing dad.
24. My heartfelt condolence.
25. This must be so hard.
26. It is normal to have mixed feelings.
27. I am so sorry about the sad news.

What Not To Say To A Child Who Has Lost A Parent?

Here are 10 things not to say to a child who has lost a parent.

1. Don’t be sad. The pain goes away.
2. Let it go.
3. Don’t cry. Your dad needs you to be strong now.
4. It’s your fault.
5. Just carry on with your life.
6. Time heals all wounds.
7. Now you have to be a big girl.
8. Crying doesn’t help.
9. Your mother does not want to see you cry.
10. Your mother’s passing is a blessing since she no longer suffers.

What Are The Stages Of Grief?

The stages of grief are commonly described using the Kübler-Ross model with five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. This model was first introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying” and has since become widely recognized in both clinical practice and popular culture. The five stages are described below.

1. Denial: The initial stage involves disbelief and shock. Individuals struggle to accept the reality of the loss.
2. Anger: Anger and frustration replace denial as the individual directs the emotions towards themselves, others, or the deceased.
3. Bargaining: Individuals attempt to negotiate or make deals in this stage, often with a higher power, to reverse or lessen the loss.
4. Depression: Deep sadness and despair result as the individual begins to understand the extent of the loss.
5. Acceptance: The final stage involves accepting the loss and finding a way to live with the fact.

How Long Does Grief Last?

Normal grief lasts between 6 to 12 months, as per the DSM-V’s (Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition) expert consensus panel, which sets this duration as the cut-off for prolonged grief disorder (PGD).

Does Grief Ever Go Away?

No, grief does not entirely go away for most people, although grief normally lessens over time, according to a 2009 study titled “Grief and bereavement: what psychiatrists need to know,” by Zisook, Sidney, and Katherine Shear, published in World Psychiatry.

Seek professional treatment if the acute grief continues for more than 6 months at a disabling level as the prolonged period signals complicated grief or prolonged grief disorder (PGD).

Acute grief manifests initially with intense emotions and a focus on the deceased. Acute grief evolves into integrated grief over time in “uncomplicated grief”. Memories of the deceased evoke sadness and yearning intermittently without constantly occupying thoughts or hindering daily activities.

What Is Prolonged Grief Disorder?

Prolonged grief disorder (complicated grief or complex grief) is a mental health condition characterized by intense and persistent grief that causes significant impairment in a person’s ability to function after the death of a loved one. The grief reactions go beyond the typical mourning period and persist for months or even years after the loss of a loved one.

Does Grief Make You Tired?

Yes, grief makes you tired and drained of energy, especially if you experience painful emotions, poor sleep, inactivity, appetite change, or stress. Here are 5 reasons why grief makes you tired.

1. Emotional Exhaustion: Grieving and experiencing painful emotions like sadness, anger, guilt, etc., is mentally and emotionally taxing. Coping with loss consumes a lot of mental energy leaving you feeling worn out.
2. Poor Sleep: Grief sometimes disrupts sleep. The lack of restorative sleep causes physical and mental fatigue.
3. Changes in Activity: People often withdraw from everyday activities when they grieve, leading to deconditioning and low energy.
4. Change in Appetite: Grief often suppresses appetite, causing nutritional deficiencies that sap energy. Some grievers eat for comfort, leading to energy crashes.
5. Stress Hormones: The grief response floods the body with stress hormones, like cortisol, for extended periods. The fight, flight or freeze response drains energy reserves and weakens the immune system, amplifying fatigue.