10 Ways To Motivate Your Child: What Motivates Your Child?

Updated:August 8, 2025 | Published:December 27, 2024 | ByPamela Li

To motivate your child, stop using traditional methods like rewards and punishment. External, unnatural consequences lead to extrinsic motivation, which doesn’t last long. What motivates your child is their internal drive or intrinsic motivation, which stems from their interests and curiosity. Rather than forcing motivation, engage your child’s interests to spark curiosity and make learning fun.

Children are more motivated when they feel autonomous and in control of their choices. Allow them to explore interests independently and give them the freedom to express their opinions. Building solid relationships helps children internalize the importance of tasks. Children are naturally motivated by people they care about, such as parents, peers, and teachers. Show genuine interest in their learning and passions to foster this motivation.

Parental involvement is vital. When parents actively engage in their child’s activities without being controlling, it boosts the child’s motivation. Ensure that challenges are appropriate—neither easy nor hard excessively—so that children remain engaged without feeling overwhelmed. Promoting a growth mindset, the belief that abilities are developed through effort, helps children stay motivated, especially when faced with setbacks.

Rewards must be occasional and unpredictable to maintain their effectiveness. Focus on setting goals that the child is invested in, as this fosters intrinsic motivation. Encouraging persistence is vital. Children must be taught that failure is a learning opportunity and that persistence leads to improvement and success.

Here are 10 science-proven ways to help your child develop an intrinsic motivation (internal drive).

1. Stop Trying to Motivate Kids The Conventional Way

To motivate your child, stop using traditional methods of rewards and punishment, which often do not produce long-term results. Rewards and punishment create extrinsic motivation. Only intrinsic motivation is naturally long-lasting in children and humans in general.

The two types of motivation are intrinsic and extrinsic. Intrinsic motivation helps children want to do an activity because they find it enjoyable. Extrinsic motivation leads children to do things only for a separate outcome, such as getting rewarded or avoiding punishment.

Rewards and punishment are popular among parents because they often produce immediate results initially. However, using incentives and consequences produces a power struggle over time and eventually stops working when children no longer want the external reward or fear the punishment.

Intrinsic motivation yields better results than extrinsic motivation in the long run because extrinsic motivation shifts a child’s reasons for performing the behavior from internal to external, according to a 2020 study titled “Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation,” by Lisa Legault, published in Encyclopedia of personality and individual differences. To motivate a child intrinsically for long-term results, stop using conventional methods and instead focus on helping the child develop intrinsic desires.

2. Spark Interest and Curiosity

To help children develop intrinsic motivation, focus on their interests and engage with them around those interests. Make learning fun. For example, introduce an abacus to spark their curiosity in math. Encourage children’s playful exploration and let them explore subjects that intrigue them to discover new areas of interest. Notice what they pay attention to and use that as a guide to discover their passion. Fascinate them by introducing new ideas and activities that elicit curiosity.

For young children, build on the baby’s intuition to explore the world naturally. Inspire their thirst for knowledge inside and outside of school by filling their world with books and stories and encouraging them to fill their world with reading. You’ll nurture their love of learning by tapping into what excites them.

3. Give Children a Sense of Autonomy and Self-determination

Children are intrinsically motivated when they feel a sense of control over their choices, according to the Self-Determination Theory proposed by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan in the 1970s. Give your child the freedom to explore their interests and make decisions independently. Encourage them to express their opinions by actively listening and showing their thoughts are valued. Make choices available to them. Build a strong foundation for learning by fostering a supportive, flexible environment where the child pursues learning on their own terms, driven by personal interests and intrinsic motivation.

Some children avoid challenging or tedious tasks like studying or doing chores when given unlimited freedom. Building a solid relationship helps combat this problem.

4. Strengthen Relationships to Help Children Internalize the Importance of a Task

Children are motivated by people they care about, such as peers, parents, and teachers. To motivate children, prioritize social interaction during learning and create an environment where children collaborate and engage with peers.

To motivate your child, take an interest in what they learn. Ask questions and be genuinely curious. Show enthusiasm for your child’s interests and support them in pursuing their passions. Show that you value their education, not just their grades, to build their motivation.

Parents play a critical role in this dynamic. A strong parent-child bond increases the likelihood that your child listens to you, adopts your values, and finds motivation in things that are important to you. The parent-child relationship improves when parents adopt an authoritative parenting style. Authoritative parents are warm, responsive, and attentive to their children’s needs while setting high yet achievable standards. Authoritative parents explain boundaries and use reasoning instead of punishment to discipline, build trust, and strengthen the relationship.

5. Get Involved

Getting involved in children’s activities without being controlling motivates kids. Parental involvement conveys the value parents place on the activity and is strongly associated with a child’s academic success. Examples of parent involvement include coaching the sports games, volunteering in class, and reading to children to help them form good learning habits.

6. Challenge Children Just Enough

Children are motivated to do things they are good at. Find the right balance of challenge for your child. An optimal challenge is slightly more difficult than a child has already mastered to push them out of their comfort zone, but it is achievable through practice and hard work.

7. Promote a Growth Mindset

A growth mindset is believing abilities improve through dedication and practice, not inborn. To help children develop a growth mindset and become motivated, emphasize the process and effort over the outcome. Address peer pressure problems by creating a supportive environment where children focus on their personal growth rather than comparisons with others.

Parents foster a growth mindset and positive attitude by praising effort and process over innate talent, framing setbacks as opportunities rather than threats, providing constructive feedback, and celebrating sparingly to create effective positive reinforcement.

8. Provide Rewards and Praise

To motivate kids, reward them by praising them to positively reinforce their effort or good behavior occasionally and unpredictably. Praise, a form of incentive or positive reinforcer, carries more meaning than other external rewards, according to a 2019 study titled “Incentives and praise compared: the ethics of motivation,” by Ruth W. Grant, published in the International Review of Economics. Praises communicate a standard for judgment and include a social or relational context. Being praised by someone a child respects or feels connected to is a powerful motivator when used sparingly and not in a predictable way.

9. Set Goals and Expectations

To improve a child’s motivation, set clear, achievable goals. The child must accept the goals. Letting children participate in goal setting increases the chance that the goal is accepted. Monitor the progress and adjust goals.

Goals focusing on developing competence or learning a new skill are better than those aiming to win. Mastery goals prioritize learning for its own sake, aligning with intrinsic motivation. Performance goals highlight the importance of achievement, signifying extrinsic motivation. Children who set mastery goals have higher self-efficacy, are more likely to persist at challenges, and have a higher intrinsic motivation to learn.

10. Encourage Persistence and Resilience

To motivate kids, focus on the value of regular practice and aim for progress rather than immediate perfection. Encouragement for kids involves praising their effort rather than the results, even when they fail. Remind children that challenges are opportunities to learn problem-solving skills. Face failure as part of learning. Setbacks are natural, and resilience means bouncing back and trying again. Offer support and positive reinforcement, emphasizing that persistence through difficulties helps them improve and eventually achieve their goals.

What is the Importance of Motivation in a Child’s Development?

The importance of motivation in a child’s development lies in its role as the driving force behind a child’s behavior, learning, and overall well-being. Motivation is the internal drive that initiates, guides, and sustains goal-oriented behavior. Motivation directly impacts behavior by encouraging children to explore, take the initiative, persevere through challenges, and strive for growth in various aspects of life.

Motivation for kids is associated with positive behavior, curiosity, increased engagement in learning, and a stronger sense of self-confidence. Intrinsic motivation, which comes from personal interest or enjoyment, fosters critical thinking and creativity. Extrinsic motivation, influenced by rewards and punishment, helps children focus on achieving specific goals, although it does not always sustain long-term interest.

Motivation is linked to a child’s emotional and psychological well-being. Motivated children are more likely to develop resilience, set and achieve goals, and adapt to new challenges. Unmotivated children are more likely to become disengaged and withdrawn, face learning difficulties, and be more susceptible to behavioral and psychological issues. Motivation influences children’s ability to learn, grow, and thrive. Nurturing intrinsic motivation is essential in a child’s development, shaping children’s behavior, adaptability, overall growth, and success at school and home.

What are the Signs that your Child is Unmotivated?

Signs that your child is unmotivated include disengagement, apathy, lack of interest, declining grades, procrastination, disorganization, and difficulty following instructions. Below are the signs that your child is unmotivated.

• Disengagement: Your child does not participate in group discussions, pay attention to the teacher, or sit with their head down.
• Apathy: Your child is not concerned about bad grades or punishments.
• Lack of Interest: Your child is disinterested in activities, toys, or games that used to excite them.
• Declining Grades: Your child’s grades drop unexpectedly.
• Procrastination: Your child delays talks until the last minute.
• Disorganization: Your child has difficulty completing tasks or keeping track of belongings.
• Trouble Following Instructions: Your child does not follow or understand simple directions.

What Motivates Your Child?

Things that motivate a child include positive discipline, interest, freedom, relatedness, parental involvement, strength, growth mindset, positive reinforcement, goals, and resilience. Below are 10 things that motivate children.

1. Positive Discipline: Encourage learning from mistakes without punitive consequences. For example, a parent guides a child to organize their time better rather than punishing them when they forget to complete homework.
2. Interest: A child’s natural curiosity about certain topics or activities. For example, a child who loves dinosaurs is motivated to read more if given books on prehistoric life.
3. Freedom: Allowing a child some autonomy to make choices. For example, letting a child decide which extracurricular activity to participate in, such as art class or soccer.
4. Relatedness: Feeling connected to others, such as family, peers, or teachers. For example, a child is more motivated to work hard in class when they have a good relationship with their teacher or enjoy group projects with friends.
5. Parental Involvement: Active engagement and encouragement from parents. For example, a parent showing interest in a child’s school project by helping them brainstorm ideas motivates the child to put in extra effort.
6. Strength: Focusing on a child’s unique strengths and talents. For example, a child who excels at math is motivated to explore more advanced concepts when recognized for their abilities.
7. Growth Mindset: Believing that abilities develop through dedication and effort. For example, praising a child for their hard work in learning to play an instrument, rather than just praising their talent, motivates them to keep improving.
8. Positive Reinforcement: Rewarding effort and good behavior to encourage repetition. For example, a child receiving praise or a small reward for finishing chores on time is motivated to continue being responsible.
9. Goals: Set clear, achievable learning goals. For example, a child who sets a goal to finish reading a book in a week is motivated by accomplishing it.
10. Resilience: Learning to bounce back from setbacks. For example, a child who loses a game is encouraged to reflect on what to improve, motivating them to try again rather than give up.

How Does Motivation Affect Academic Success in Children?

Motivation affects academic success in children by influencing their engagement in learning and persistence through challenges. Motivated students tend to engage more fully in learning activities, exerting more effort, time, and energy. When motivation is present, it uplifts a student’s enthusiasm for tasks, making them more likely to persist through challenges. Motivation enhances cognitive processing, leading students to pay closer attention and aim for a deeper understanding of the material rather than superficial learning.

Motivation is associated with better academic outcomes. Motivated children are more active in class, engage more in assignments, and complete them efficiently. Educators recognize that motivation is crucial for academic success, as it promotes persistence, deeper learning, and better performance on classroom tasks and standardized tests. Motivation is a key predictor of children’s learning, adjustment, and well-being.

What Are The Factors That Affect Motivation In Children?

Factors affecting children’s motivation include relationships with parents, teachers, and peers, autonomy, personal experiences, self-efficacy perception, rewards, and learning environment. Below are 17 factors that affect motivation in children.

1. Relationships: Children want to do things that bring them closer to people they care about. Parent-child relationships, teacher-child relationships, and peer relationships affect a child’s motivation.
2. Parental Involvement: Parents’ active participation in their child’s education supports motivation by reinforcing the value of learning.
3. Teacher Behavior and Personality: A teacher’s positive attitude and energy inspire children to engage with their lessons.
4. Peers: Children are influenced by their peers, and positive interactions with classmates boost motivation.
5. Autonomy: The freedom to choose affects a child’s motivation. Children are more motivated if they choose what activity to engage in. Children have an internal locus of control when they have a say in their choices. Children are less motivated if they are assigned an activity without options.
6. Personal Experiences: Past successes or failures in a subject impact future motivation. Poor experiences tend to decrease effort, while positive experiences tend to encourage participation.
7. Self-Efficacy and Competence Perceptions: Children’s belief in their ability to succeed in tasks strengthens their motivation. Encouraging children to build on their strengths helps them feel competent and motivated.
8. Rewards: External incentives like praise or tangible rewards influence children’s motivation to participate in learning activities.
9. Learning Environment: A supportive, engaging, and anxiety-free classroom environment promotes curiosity and motivation. Fun and enjoyment in learning activities foster intrinsic motivation and engagement in educational tasks.
10. Attributions and Control Beliefs: How children perceive the causes of their success or failure affects their motivation to persist. A child with a growth mindset is more motivated to try and improve their effort.
11. Intrinsic Motivation: Children are naturally driven to explore, learn, and enjoy tasks when they find them interesting or challenging.
12. Interest and Curiosity: Technology like digital storytelling engages children, especially those less interested in traditional learning methods.
13. Family Stability: Family stress or instability demotivates children by creating an emotionally challenging environment.
14. Paren-child relationship: A nurturing and supportive bond elevates a child’s motivation, especially when parents embody and model motivational attitudes, which children often emulate.
15. Peer influence: Peer relationships foster a sense of belonging within a group. Positive peer interactions significantly boost a child’s inner drive and enthusiasm.
16. Goal orientation: If a child is genuinely interested in achieving a specific mastery goal, their motivation naturally increases. Setting goals without underlying interest or desire does not effectively motivate kids.
17. Physical and emotional well-being: A child’s motivation is linked to health. Persistent illness or emotional distress diverts children’s focus and energy, making motivation more challenging.

Does Age Affect the Motivation Levels in Children?

Yes, age is associated with motivation levels in children, with intrinsic motivation showing a significant linear decrease with age. A decline in intrinsic motivation from 3rd through 8th grade was found in a 2005 study titled “Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivational Orientations in the Classroom: Age Differences and Academic Correlates,” by Mark R. Lepper et al., published in the Journal of Educational Psychology. The study found that intrinsic motivation was positively correlated with children’s grades and standardized test scores, while extrinsic motivation was negatively correlated with academic outcomes.

The declining effect of age on motivation is only limited to children. Other studies have found that motivation levels are stable or increase as adults age.

What are the Types of Motivation in Children?

Here are two primary types of motivation in children.

• Intrinsic motivation
• Extrinsic motivation

1. Intrinsic Motivation

Intrinsic motivation is the natural tendency to engage in interesting or enjoyable activities without the need for external incentives or rewards. Intrinsic motivation arises from within, driven by personal satisfaction and the inherent pleasure of the task, as opposed to extrinsic motivation, fueled by external factors such as rewards or punishments.

Intrinsically motivated people seek out challenges, learn, and explore because of their internal drive to grow and improve. Intrinsically motivated individuals are often more resilient in overcoming challenges and are likely to engage in positive social interactions, sharing their interests with others. Intrinsic motivation typically results in more sustainable and self-fulfilling actions.

Examples of intrinsic motivation include pursuing hobbies, learning for personal growth, or solving puzzles simply for the satisfaction they bring.

2. Extrinsic Motivation

Extrinsic motivation is performing a task driven by the desire to gain a reward or avoid punishment rather than for the inherent enjoyment of the activity. Extrinsic motivation involves performing activities to receive praise, approval from others, fame, or money or avoid negative consequences. The outcome of the action is focused on a separable external outcome rather than personal satisfaction.

Examples of extrinsic motivation include a student studying hard to receive a teacher’s praise, an employee working overtime to earn more money, and a child cleaning their room to avoid punishment.

What is the Key Difference between Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation?

The key difference between intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation is the source driving the behavior. Intrinsic motivation is fueled by an internal desire to enjoy the task. The individual is self-driven and engages in activities for personal satisfaction, enjoyment, or simply for the sake of the activity itself or accomplishing a goal. Difference of Intrinsic and Extrinsic motivation becomes apparent when considering that extrinsic motivation is driven by external rewards such as praise, recognition, or avoiding punishment. Extrinsically motivated behaviors are influenced by outside forces or the expectation of earning an external benefit.

What Are The Researches About Unmotivated Children?

Research has found that motivation in children toward school and subjects such as mathematics, art, and science declines over time. Many factors contribute to amotivation, including lack of interest, skills, challenges, attention, psychological well-being, and learning ability. Changing some aspects of the environment to address these factors helps motivate children, according to a 2017 study from Indonesia titled “The Effect Of Make A Match (MAM) Type Model and Bamboo Dance Type Model Through Cooperative Learning on Students Motivation,” conducted by Mohamad Nur Fauzi et al. at Universitas Sebelas Maret and published in Suska Journal of Mathematics Education.

What are the Challenges in Motivating Children?

Challenges in motivating children include lack of interest, fear of failure, task complexity, skills and abilities, effort and motivation, success and challenge balance, and adult support. Below are 24 challenges in motivating kids.

1. Lack of Interest: Children sometimes are not interested in things adults care about. Find ways to connect the task with a child’s interest. Incorporating the task or subject into play activities that utilize a child’s interest or strength helps motivate children.
2. Fear of Failure: Kids often fear failure, leading to avoidance of tasks or reduced effort. Create a supportive environment where mistakes are seen as learning opportunities. Praise effort rather than outcomes to reduce fear of failure.
3. Task Complexity: Overly complex tasks often overwhelm children and diminish motivation. Break tasks into smaller, manageable steps and guide them to build skills progressively.
4. Skills and Abilities: Some children become discouraged if they have insufficient abilities. Tailor tasks to match children’s skill levels and offer scaffolding to help them develop new capabilities over time.
5. Effort and Motivation: Some children struggle to sustain effort if they don’t see the value of the task. Set clear goals and show how the task contributes to their personal development or future success. Use praises to reinforce and motivate.
6. Success and Challenge Balance: Motivation decreases when tasks are too easy or hard. Ensure tasks offer the right level of challenge, balancing difficulty with the possibility of success to keep children engaged.
7. Adults and Support: Lack of adult support results in demotivation and feelings of isolation. Adults must provide consistent emotional and academic support, offering feedback and encouragement.
8. Schools and Learning Environment: A hostile or stressful school environment hinders motivation. Schools must focus on creating a positive, inclusive learning environment that minimizes stress and promotes well-being.
9. Social Conflicts: Peer conflicts or bullying damages a child’s motivation and focus on tasks. Schools and adults must intervene in conflicts early and promote conflict resolution strategies to maintain a harmonious environment.
10. Peers and Social Status: Concern over peer relationships and social status often affects focus on academic tasks. Encourage positive peer interactions and create group activities where children work together towards common goals.
11. Stress Levels: High stress reduces a child’s ability to focus and motivate themselves. To maintain healthy stress levels, teach stress management techniques and ensure a balanced workload.
12. Learning Disorders (Learning Disabilities, Language Disorders, Executive Function Issues): Children with learning or language disorders often face difficulties that lower their motivation. Provide tailored learning strategies, use assistive technology, and offer personalized support to address their unique challenges.
13. Procrastination: Delaying tasks leads to stress and reduced motivation. Teach time-management skills and break tasks into smaller parts to make them more approachable.
14. Self-Doubt: Lack of confidence in one’s abilities discourages effort. To build self-confidence, provide continuous positive feedback and opportunities for success.
15. Lack of Support: Children feel unmotivated without sufficient emotional and academic support. Establish a strong support system at home and school to ensure students feel cared for and guided.
16. Accountability: Some students do not feel responsible for their learning, which reduces motivation. Develop a sense of responsibility by setting personal goals and using self-assessment tools.
17. Physical Problems: Physical issues like chronic illness tend to hinder motivation and participation. Adapt learning environments to meet physical needs and provide flexibility in schoolwork.
18. Mental Problems: Mental health issues, such as anxiety or depression, often severely impact motivation. Offer mental health support and counseling, and create an environment that prioritizes well-being.
19. Personal Problems: Family stress or issues with friends distract and demotivate students. Provide emotional support and resources to help children cope with personal problems.
20. Well-Being: Poor overall well-being affects motivation across all areas of life. Schools and families must emphasize well-being, including physical health, mental health, and emotional security.
21. Working Memory and Executive Functions: Weak working memory or executive function skills make it difficult to stay organized and complete tasks. Strategies like visual aids, planners, and structured routines help support executive functions and working memory.
22. Praise and Encouragement: Lack of praise or recognition for effort sometimes leads to decreased motivation. Offer specific praise to acknowledge effort and improvements rather than just outcomes.
23. Peer Relationships: Negative peer relationships tend to lower self-esteem and motivation. To strengthen relationships, encourage positive peer interactions, and provide opportunities for collaborative learning.
24. Standardized Assessment Pressure: Stress from standardized assessments tends to cause anxiety and reduce motivation. Minimize emphasis on test scores, focusing instead on holistic learning and the child’s overall development.

What Is The Most Common Mistake Parents Do When Motivating Children?

The most common mistake parents make when motivating children is relying on rewards or punishment. Although rewards and punishment often generate quick success initially, they create extrinsic motivation, the inferior type. The effectiveness of extrinsic motivation tends to diminish over time. Rewards and punishment tend to stop working eventually. Continuously increasing rewards to keep the motivational effect is unsustainable. Continuously increasing punishment leads to abuse. Reward and punishment have the side effect of diminishing a child’s intrinsic motivation, assuming any existed initially.