5 Subtle Signs Of Bad Parenting

Updated:August 8, 2025 | Published:January 5, 2025 | ByPamela Li

Bad parenting is characterized by actions or neglect that harm a child’s development and well-being. Bad parenting includes physical, emotional, and sexual abuse and neglect. Some psychologists define bad parenting as practices that put children at risk of delinquency, such as a lack of supervision, failure to address deviant behavior, and inconsistent discipline. However, parents who prioritize their interests over their children harm their children even without overt abuse or neglect.

Key signs of bad parenting without overt abuse or neglect include demanding blind obedience, using intimidation to discipline, neglecting to monitor behavior, denying parental responsibility, and resisting adaptation. These bad parenting practices hinder a child’s development of critical thinking, emotional regulation, and healthy relationships.

Bad parenting negatively impacts children’s mental, emotional, social, and physical development. Bad parenting is linked to low self-esteem, behavioral problems, academic underperformance, substance use, and delinquency. Adverse effects, including trauma, often persist into adulthood, with children of bad parenting more likely to replicate similar behaviors. Understanding these patterns empowers parents to adopt healthier practices, reducing intergenerational transmission.

Bad parenting is prevalent, with studies indicating that 15.2% of children experience maltreatment, and up to 50% of parents use ineffective parenting styles, such as authoritarian, permissive, or uninvolved approaches. Causes of bad parenting include hostile attribution bias, low executive function, cultural norms, and mental health challenges.

Overt abuse and neglect, narcissism, manipulation, and parental alienation are obvious signs of bad parenting. 5 subtle signs of bad parenting are shown below.

1. Demand Blind Obedience

Demanding unquestioning obedience is enforcing compliance even in situations unrelated to safety, health, or well-being. Children are not allowed to act in ways disapproved by their parents, have opinions different from their parents, or point out mistakes made by their parents.

Forcing children to blindly follow all orders robs them of the ability to think critically and develop sound judgment. Harsh control and psychological control are associated with externalizing problems like aggression and internalizing issues, such as anxiety and depression. These findings are detailed in two 2017 studies, “Associations of parenting dimensions and styles with externalizing problems of children and adolescents: An updated meta-analysis,” published in Developmental Psychology, and “Associations of parenting dimensions and styles with internalizing symptoms in children and adolescents: A meta-analysis” published in Marriage & Family Review, conducted by Martin Pinquart at Philipps University in Germany.

Bad parenting examples include saying “Because I said so,” “Don’t ask why,” and “My way or the highway” when disciplining.

2. Use Intimidation To Discipline

Using punitive punishment to discipline is imposing excessive negative consequences to correct or control behavior. Harsh punishment includes scolding, cursing, physical punishment, or persistently depriving of privileges. Punishing a child to deter unwanted behavior originates from operant conditioning, a behavioral principle introduced by psychologist B.F. Skinner in the 1930s. Punishment often succeeds in curbing undesirable actions quickly when authority figures are present. However, punishing tends to be ineffective when parents are absent. Punishment fails to promote alternative positive behaviors.

Using fear to discipline results in stress that activates a child’s stress response system and triggers the release of stress hormones like cortisol. Chronic stress, even milder ones, is toxic to children. Repeated activation of the stress response system impairs the child’s emotional regulation and alters the brain structure, including the prefrontal cortex, amygdala, and hippocampus. Toxic stress is strongly associated with post-trauma stress disorder (PTSD) in adolescents, according to large longitudinal studies, like the CDC-Kaiser ACE Study conducted by the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services and Kaiser Permanente from 1995 to 1997. Children growing up with adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) are more likely to develop mental illness, physical symptoms, and lower life satisfaction.

True discipline means teaching, but fear fails to teach. Stress hormones released in response to fear impair the prefrontal cortex (responsible for reasoning) and the hippocampus (essential for learning). Children do not process lessons or think critically when these brain regions are compromised—they are merely reacting emotionally to fear.

Punitive parental discipline normalizes harsh or violent treatment. Punished children tend to become involved in bullying as victims and/or aggressors, according to a 2016 study titled “Parenting styles and bullying. The mediating role of parental psychological aggression and physical punishment,” by Gómez-Ortiz, Olga et al., published in Child abuse & neglect.

Bad parenting examples include disciplining using spanking, shaming, or public humiliation.

3. Don’t Monitor Or Control A Child’s Deviant Behavior

Failure to supervise or intervene in children’s bad behavior constitutes bad parenting practices. Deviant behavior includes lying, stealing, aggression, skipping school, or other harmful or inappropriate actions. Deviant behavior is actions that a child controls. Tantrums, meltdowns, or emotional dysregulation are not deviant behavior.

Some parents do not track the child’s activities, whereabouts, or social interactions. Other parents have no rules or minimal enforcement. Children’s controllable, problematic behavior is ignored. Children perceive their behavior as acceptable due to the absence of corrective feedback or consequences. Children without boundaries sometimes escalate their negative behavior, believing there are no repercussions. Children with permissive or neglectful parents tend to lack self-control, responsibility, or respect for others. Such children are more likely to develop antisocial behavior and engage in delinquency, according to a 2016 study titled “Parenting Styles and Raising Delinquent Children: Responsibility of Parents in Encouraging Violent Behavior,” by Johnson, Scoot A, published in the Forensic Research & Criminology International Journal.

Bad parenting examples include ignoring bullying behavior, allowing disrespect toward others, and permitting reckless behavior such as stealing.

4. Deny Responsibilities

Family estrangement highlights the disconnect between parents and adult children regarding understanding what constitutes bad parenting.

Adult children tend to initiate family estrangement, according to multiple studies, including a 2016 study titled “Disconnection and decision-making: Adult children explain their reasons for estranging from parents,” by Agllias, Kylie, published in Australian Social Work.

Adult children predominantly attribute estrangement to their parents’ toxic behavior, lack of acceptance, or other forms of poor parenting. Parents, however, often perceive estrangement as stemming from external factors, such as their children’s relationships or entitlement. The gap in reasons shows a tendency among estranged parents to deny responsibility from the child’s perspective. These findings were revealed in a 2015 study titled “Giving Voice to the Silence of Family Estrangement: Comparing Reasons of Estranged Parents and Adult Children in a Non-matched Sample,” by Carr, Kristen et al., published in the Journal of Family Communication.

5. Refuse To Adapt

Some parents maintain certain parenting beliefs that are contradicted by scientific evidence. Refusal to acknowledge the harm of those parenting methods persists despite extensive research confirming negative impacts. The resistance to change indicates that personal convictions are prioritized over their children’s well-being.

Bad parenting examples include believing “I had the same when I was a child and I turned out fine,” and using “children these days” to justify their inflexibility.

What Is Bad Parenting?

Bad parenting encompasses behaviors that have negative and lasting impacts on children. Certain harmful practices are universally recognized as detrimental to a child’s well-being and development, although parenting styles and approaches vary across cultures. Harmful behaviors include physical and emotional abuse and neglect manifested in different forms.

Bad parenting is clinically defined as practices or neglect that promote delinquency by failing to monitor behavior, identify deviant actions, or apply consistent and appropriate discipline. This definition is detailed in a 2006 study titled “Why is “Bad” Parenting Criminogenic? Implications From Rival Theories. Youth Violence and Juvenile Justice,” by James D. Unnever et al., published in Youth Violence and Juvenile Justice.

Negative outcomes linked to bad parenting extend beyond delinquency. Adverse outcomes often include issues like low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, suicide attempts, and academic failure. Negative parenting patterns, even without physical violence or blatant neglect, sometimes inflict significant harm. Bad parents make decisions that disregard the best interests of their children.

What Is The Importance Of Understanding Bad Parenting?

Understanding bad parenting is important because parenting quality impacts the child and society. Some poor parenting, such as child abuse, causes physical harm to the child, putting the child in danger. Other poor parenting, such as emotional neglect or abuse, hurts a child’s development and causes psychological problems that affect individuals and society.

Physical harm from bad parenting includes injuries in childhood and illnesses in adulthood, including cardiovascular disease, obesity, and kidney disease, according to a 2015 study titled “Autonomic and Inflammatory Consequences of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder 1 (PTSD) and the Link to Cardiovascular Disease,” by Brudey, Chevelle et al., published in American Journal of Physiology-Regulatory, Integrative and Comparative Physiology.

Psychological problems of bad parenting involve internalizing and externalizing behavior. Internalizing behavior include mental issues, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and borderline personality disorder (BPD). Externalizing behavior includes bullying, delinquency, aggression, violence, crime, and substance abuse. Intergenerational transmission of trauma occurs when the effects of unresolved trauma are passed from generation to generation.

Understanding bad parenting helps break the cycle of harm and promote healthier families. Parents are empowered with knowledge to avoid detrimental behaviors and promote positive development in children. Interventions and support systems address current trauma and prevent future occurrences within society, creating a ripple effect of well-being.

How Prevalent Is Bad Parenting?

15.2% of children and youth experienced maltreatment by a caregiver, including 5.0% who experienced physical abuse. The findings were revealed in a 2015 study titled “Prevalence of Childhood Exposure to Violence, Crime, and Abuse: Results From the National Survey of Children’s Exposure to Violence,” by Finkelhor, David et al., published in JAMA Pediatrics.

50% of parents use ineffective parenting (authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful), according to a 2009 study titled “Associations Between Parenting Styles and Teen Driving, Safety-Related Behaviors and Attitudes,” by Ginsburg, Kenneth R. et al., published in Pediatrics. The distribution of different parenting styles in that study was authoritative (50%), permissive (23%), authoritarian (8%), and uninvolved (19%)

How Not To Define Parenting Quality?

Bad parenting is not defined by the behavior of parents or by the outcome or behavior of children alone. A parent’s behavior alone does not define bad parenting because it does not always reflect a parent’s intent or knowledge. Parents sometimes make mistakes, even with the best of intentions. Being uninformed or making mistakes doesn’t indicate bad parenting because the parents do not knowingly prioritize their needs over their children’s.

Why Do A Child’s Outcomes Alone Not Define Bad Parenting?

A child’s outcomes alone do not represent parenting quality because many factors influence a child’s development, personality, and behavior. Some children thrive despite awful parenting. Some children falter even with good parenting. Parents have no control over everything in their children’s lives. The outcomes alone are not indicative of parenting quality.

Who Can Decide Whether A Parent Is A Bad Parent?

Adult children can decide whether they feel their parents are bad. Children are the ultimate consumers of parenting. Young children are not reliable judges because their decision-making skills are not mature. Adult children can decide because their childhood memories and feelings about their parents count, even if their parents disagree.

What Are The Effects Of Bad Parenting?

Bad parenting yields few positive effects, often accompanied by significant emotional costs. Three potential positives include fostering good behavior and compliance through strict rule enforcement, promoting safety and risk avoidance by emphasizing rule adherence and encouraging independence in children of permissive parents who lack guidance and control.

The negative effects of bad parenting are extensive and damaging. Negative effects include low self-esteem due to excessive criticism, emotional and behavioral issues like anxiety and depression, and social difficulties stemming from poor parental involvement. Children often exhibit rebelliousness, struggle with decision-making, and experience academic underperformance. Additional consequences include increased risk of substance use, juvenile delinquency, mental health problems, and stunted physical development due to neglect. Damaged parent-child relationships and difficulties in forming close relationships, particularly romantic ones, further highlight the long-term impact of poor parenting practices.

What Are The Positive Effects Of Bad Parenting?

There are hardly any positive effects of bad parenting. The silver lining of bad parenting tends to come at a significant emotional cost. 3 positive effects of bad parenting are listed below.

• Good Behavior and Compliance: Some children raised by controlling parents exhibit good behavior because the child understands that deviating from established rules results in consequences. Their understanding tends to make them the most well-behaved in their surroundings, as the child is attuned to the negative impacts of misbehavior.
• Safety and Risk Avoidance: Some controlling parents emphasize safety and risk avoidance. Children learn about the risks of doing bad things when strictly following the rules, making them less likely to do risky things.
• Independence: Permissive parents do not provide guidance and firm control, causing children to develop self-reliance out of necessity rather than self-determination, according to a 2021 study titled “Types of Parenting Styles and Effects On Children,” by Terrence Sanvictores et al., published in StatsPearls.

What Are The Negative Effects Of Bad Parenting?

Negative effects of bad parenting include low self-esteem, emotional regulation issues, social difficulties, and behavioral problems. 12 negative effects of bad parenting are listed below.

1. Low Self-Esteem: Children raised by controlling parents often develop low self-esteem because they base their self-worth on their ability to follow their parents’ strict rules. The lack of positive reinforcement and excessive criticism contribute to a diminished self-image, as children feel valued for their compliance rather than for who they are.
2. Emotional and Behavioral Issues: Harsh parenting is closely linked to various emotional and behavioral problems in children, such as anxiety, depression, and difficulty managing emotions. The rigid and controlling environment stifles emotional expression, leading to frustration, emotional withdrawal, and problems in handling social interactions.
3. Social Difficulties: Insufficient social skills are difficulties in effectively interacting and connecting with others. Neglected children often have trouble with social interaction. Children with uninvolved parents often develop poor social competence, become passive and helpless under stress, and withdraw from social interactions, according to a 2005 study titled “The Socialization of Emotional Understanding: A Comparison of Neglectful and Non-neglectful Mothers and Their Children” by Kimberly Shipman et al., published in Child Maltreatment.
4. Rebelliousness: Controlling parenting’s stringent demands and lack of flexibility foster rebellious tendencies in children. Children resist authority figures when they feel too many rules to follow. Deliberate defiance and risky behaviors are common in children.
5. Poor Decision-Making Skills: Children’s overreliance on strict rules prevents them from developing independent decision-making skills. Children do not make decisions or learn from their mistakes. Children feel unsafe in situations without clear rules. Children find it hard to make good choices on their own.
6. Poor Academic Performance: Parenting styles significantly impact academic outcomes by shaping behavioral patterns and study habits. Controlling, permissive, and neglectful parenting are linked to lower academic performance than authoritative parenting.
7. Substance Use: Substance use involves the consumption of illicit drugs, tobacco, or alcohol, potentially leading to addiction. Children raised with bad parenting are at risk of substance use, according to a 2016 study from Sweden titled “Role of parenting styles in adolescent substance use: results from a Swedish longitudinal cohort study” by Knut Sundell et al. and published in BMJ Open.
8. Delinquency: Juvenile delinquency involves breaking the law during adolescence. Delinquent activities include refusing parental demands, stealing, property destruction, and theft. Parenting that lacks control or supervision is highly associated with delinquency.
9. Mental Issues: Mental issues involve significant disturbance in cognition, emotion, and behavior. Children and adolescents with bad parents have more depressive symptoms and lower psychological well-being, according to a 2016 study, “Parenting Styles and Raising Delinquent Children: Responsibility of Parents in Encouraging Violent Behavior,” conducted by Scott A. Johnson.”
10. Stunted Physical Development: Neglectful parents exhibit minimal interest and involvement in a child’s daily life, including diet and nutrition, leading to adverse outcomes like stunted physical development, according to a 2012 study titled “Family Nutrition: Parenting and Family Life” by Larry Forthun, published in Gainesville, Florida: The Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences (IFAS).
11. Damaged Parent-Child Relationship: Bad parenting damages parent-child relationships due to the too much or too little control or other toxic behavior,
12. Difficulty in Close Relationships: Relationship difficulties include problems forming and maintaining healthy romantic relationships. Children without absence of a good parent-child relationship as an internal working model, children with bad parenting often experience difficulty building a healthy romantic relationship.

Does Bad Parenting Cause Trauma In Children?

Yes, some bad parenting causes childhood trauma. Negative parenting behaviors, such as overprotection and hostility, are associated with childhood post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), according to a 2017 study titled “The role of parenting behaviors in childhood post-traumatic stress disorder: A meta-analytic review,” by Williamson, Victoria et al., published in the Clinical Psychology Review. Overprotection and hostility are the characteristics of permissive and authoritarian parenting styles. Parenting that is too lenient or too strict was linked to trauma in childhood after a systematic review and meta-analysis of 14 studies involving over 4,000 children.

What Parenting Styles Are Considered Bad Parenting?

Authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved parenting styles are considered bad because they tend to negatively impact children’s development and outcomes.

Authoritarian parenting is marked by low warmth and high demands. Authoritarian parents are often punitive and use intimidation to discipline. Permissive parenting is high warmth and low demands. Permissive parents do not have rules or set boundaries for their children’s behavior. Neglectful parenting is characterized by low warmth and demands. Neglectful parents do not supervise their children. These three parenting styles are often considered ineffective or bad.

How Likely Will Children Of Bad Parenting Practice Bad Parenting Themselves?

It is likely that children raised with bad parenting use similar parenting strategies when they become parents. Intergenerational transmission of trauma is often prevented through resolving trauma and getting parent-infant attachment support, according to a 2019 study from Australia titled “Preventing intergenerational trauma transmission: A critical interpretive synthesis,” by Isobel, Sophie et al., published in the Journal of clinical nursing. A quality therapeutic relationship is vital in helping adult children resolve past trauma and recover. Some parents are able to heal through their parenting experiences.

What Causes Bad Parenting?

The causes of bad parenting include hostile attribution bias, low executive function, and cultural influence. 8 causes of bad parenting are listed below.

• Hostile Attribution Bias: Authoritarian parenting is high in control and low in responsiveness. Authoritarian parents tend to interpret children’s behavior as intentionally negative and adopt harsh, punitive discipline, according to a 2017 study titled “Do hostile attributions and negative affect explain the association between authoritarian beliefs and harsh parenting?” by Crouch, Julie L et al., published in Child Abuse & Neglect.
• Low Executive Function: Parents with lower executive function often struggle with self-regulation and problem-solving, leading to more reactive and authoritarian approaches. Lower cognitive flexibility prevents authoritarian parents from adopting better parenting approaches.
• Cultural and Social Norms: Strict discipline is considered necessary for proper child-rearing in some cultures, reinforcing authoritarian practices.
• Lack of Structure and Boundaries: Permissive parents often struggle to set limits because they desire to avoid conflict or believe in a more child-led approach. A permissive attitude leads to inconsistent discipline and a lack of clear expectations.
• Parental Insecurity: Permissive parents often feel unsure about their parenting abilities and thus avoid enforcing rules, fearing it harm their relationship with their child.
• Parental Mental Health Issues: Conditions such as depression, anxiety, or substance abuse impair an uninvolved parent’s ability to provide consistent care and attention.
• History of Adverse Childhood Experiences: Parents who experienced neglect or abuse in their childhoods are at higher risk of perpetuating these behaviors with their children.
• Socioeconomic Stress: Financial difficulties and associated stress lead to emotional unavailability and neglectful behaviors in some parents.