17 Signs Of Parental Alienation Syndrome

Updated:June 25, 2025 | Published:January 6, 2025 | ByPamela Li

Parental Alienation (PA) is defined as a psychological manipulation process in which one parent systematically influences a child to unjustifiably reject or fear the other parent, without any substantiated evidence of abuse or neglect. Signs of parental alienation in children include repeated negative statements about the alienated parent and weak or vague explanations for rejecting the parent. An idealized view of the alienating parent is often contrasted with an extreme vilification of the other. Children affected by PA usually repeat the alienating parent’s words verbatim, defend them unconditionally, and show no remorse for hurting the alienated parent. Children sometimes adopt complaints that resemble adult grievances or extend hostility to the alienated parent’s extended family.

Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), a concept introduced by psychiatrist Richard A. Gardner in 1985, to describe the behavioral symptoms observed in children who have been exposed to parental alienation.

Alienating parents often limit the child’s contact with the other parent, badmouth them, and involve the child in adult issues like custody disputes or financial conflicts. Alienating parents portray the other parent as dangerous or unloving, using manipulative tactics to foster distrust or dislike in the child. Some parents even defame the targeted parent in front of authorities or relocate without notice, causing severe harm to the parent-child relationship.

Parental alienation is distinct from situations where a child legitimately rejects a parent due to abuse or neglect, which is known as parental estrangement. Alienation occurs without valid reasons and often in contentious custody disputes, where false abuse accusations are used to manipulate the child’s loyalty.

The negative effects of parental alienation on children are severe. Alienated children often suffer from low self-esteem, insecure attachments, and a lack of trust in themselves and others. Mental health problems, including depression, anxiety, and substance abuse, are common in adults who experienced parental alienation in childhood. These adults may also struggle with relationships, have higher divorce rates, and even repeat patterns of alienation from their children, perpetuating a cycle of family dysfunction.

Signs of parental alienation syndrome (PAS) include rejecting the alienated parent, justifying hostility, displaying hostility toward the targeted parent’s relatives, and adopting the alienating parent’s opinions as personal beliefs. Below are the 17 signs of parental alienation syndrome.

• Expressing Disapproval Towards Targeted Parent: The child disapproves of the targeted parent by voicing harsh criticism, being rude, refusing contact, or showing aggression.
• Rationalizing Frivolously: Alienated children provide weak, absurd reasons to justify their hostility towards the targeted parent.
• Spreading Animosity To Targeted Parent’s Extended Family: The child rejects the targeted parent’s relatives, avoiding contact and developing negative views towards them.
• Adopting The Opinions Of The Alienating Parent As Their Own: The child adopts negative beliefs about the targeted parent, repeating accusations without evidence.
• Feeling No Guilt: Alienated children often lack empathy and feel no remorse for rejecting or mistreating the targeted parent.
• Believing Rejection Of The Targeted Parent Is Their Own Decision: Alienated children believe their decision to reject the targeted parent is independent, not influenced by the alienating parent.
• Idealizing The Alienating Parent: The child idealizes the alienating parent, viewing them as good while considering the targeted parent as bad.
• Badmouthing and Name-Calling The Targeted Parent: The alienating parent badmouths the targeted parent, leading the child to develop hateful perceptions.
• Withholding Medical, Academic, And Other Important Information: Important information about the child is withheld from the targeted parent, making it difficult for them to stay involved.
• Calling The Targeted Parent By Their First Name Instead Of “Mom” Or “Dad”: The alienating parent encourages the child to call the targeted parent by their first name, undermining their authority.
• Confiding In The Child: The alienating parent shares adult matters, such as custody issues, with the child to foster resentment toward the targeted parent.
• Telling The Child The Targeted Parent Does Not Love Them: The alienating parent tells the child that the targeted parent does not love them, reinforcing a cycle of dependency.
• Forcing The Child To Choose: The alienating parent manipulates the child into choosing between them and the targeted parent.
• Telling The Child The Targeted Parent Is Dangerous: The alienating parent tells the child that the targeted parent is dangerous, causing fear and distrust.
• Withdrawing Love: The alienating parent withholds affection to control the child, triggering fear and insecurity.
• Interfering With Communication: The alienating parent obstructs or limits contact between the child and the targeted parent to isolate the child.
• Limiting Contact: The alienating parent restricts the child’s time with the targeted parent, weakening their bond and fostering dependence on the alienator.

1. Expressing Disapproval Towards Targeted Parent

The child disapproves of the targeted parent by voicing harsh and unfair criticism, being rude, refusing contact, or being aggressive physically. The child often demeans, denigrates, or rejects the targeted parent entirely without a clear and justifiable reason. Negative attitudes and unreasonable negative feelings, such as anger, hatred, fear, or rejection, stem from the child’s dependence and identification with the alienating parent. The child’s emotional bond and trust with the alienated parent is often distorted. The child is often confused and conflicted as they struggle to reconcile their positive memories with the negative portrayal enforced by the alienating parent. Their sense of identity partly depends on their relationships with both parents becoming fractured.

2. Rationalizing Frivolously

Alienated children often provide weak, frivolous, and absurd reasons to justify their hostile actions and attitudes toward the targeted parent. Trivial behaviors and characteristics, such as how the parent dresses up and prepares food, are often met with extreme criticism and hostility from the child. Reliance on irrational and exaggerated claims reinforces a negatively distorted view of the targeted parent, often leading to increased displays of hostility and rejection supported by the alienating parent, according to a 2007 study titled “A Construct Study of the Eight Symptoms of Severe Parental Alienation Syndrome,” by Amy J. L. Baker et al., published in Journal of Divorce & Remarriage.

3. Spreading Animosity To Targeted Parent’s Extended Family

Hostility toward the targeted parent’s relatives is characterized by rejection of the targeted parent’s extended family, leading to avoidance and negative perceptions toward grandparents, aunts, uncles, or cousins. Alienated children are often forbidden to communicate with anyone who speaks well about the targeted parent, depriving them of a chance to know information beyond what is given by the alienating parent.

4. Adopting The Opinions Of The Alienating Parent As Their Own

An alienated child internalizes and adopts negative opinions or beliefs about the targeted parent, often without having personal experiences or evidence to support the accusations. The child repeats borrowed scenarios from the alienating parent during interactions with the targeted parent, including criticisms the child does not fully understand or believe. Adopting the alienating parent’s views leads the child to believe the targeted parent is unworthy of love and respect and capable of harm. The child becomes rude and cold, avoiding the targeted parent while clinging to the alienating parent for protection.

5. Feeling No Guilt

Imperviousness to guilt involves a child’s lack of empathy, remorse, or regret for rejecting or mistreating the targeted parent. The child seems unaffected by normal emotions, such as guilt, typically from being rude, ungrateful, and spiteful. Emotional detachment often results from the alienating parent’s manipulation, convincing the child that hostility is justified. The child’s negative emotions, such as fear, sadness, and shame, are suppressed or redirected into hostility.

6. Believing Rejection Of The Targeted Parent Is Their Own Decision

Alienated children often exhibit the “independent thinker” phenomenon, which refers to the child’s belief that the decision to reject the targeted parent is their own and not their alienating parent’s. The alienating parent claims the child is making independent decisions about the relationship with the targeted parent. The false sense of autonomy gives the child an illusion of power and control, further alienating the child from the targeted parent, according to a 2011 study titled “An introduction to parental alienation syndrome,” by Michelle M. Farkas, published in the Journal of Psychosocial Nursing and Mental Health Services.

7. Idealising The Alienating Parent

An alienated child often exhibits black-and-white thinking that an alienating parent is good and the targeted parent is bad. The child idealized the alienating parent. The clear preference and allegiance to the alienating parent has been internalized by the child, resulting in an automatic, exclusive, and encompassing positive relationship to only one parent.

8. Badmouthing and Name-Calling The Targeted Parent

Badmouthing is the primary technique for parental alienation. The alienating parent consistently makes negative remarks about the targeted parent to instill fear and encourage avoidance. Negatively talking about one parent often leads the child to have hateful and untrusting perceptions. The child has developed increased dependence on the alienating parent, viewed as the sole protector.

9. Withholding Medical, Academic, And Other Important Information

Critical medical, academic, and other important information about the child is often withheld from the target parent. Restrictive behaviors against one parent cause increased difficulties in actively engaging in the child’s progress and development, posing challenges to remaining involved in the child’s life, according to a 2018 study from Canada titled “Parental Alienation as a Form of Emotional Child Abuse: Current State of Knowledge and Future Directions for Research,” conducted by Edward Kruk, Ph.D. at the University of British Columbia and published in Family Science Review.

10. Calling The Targeted Parent By Their First Name Instead Of “Mom” Or “Dad”

The alienating parent often calls the targeted parent by their first name instead of “Mommy” or “Daddy,” encouraging the child to do the same. The behavior aims to let the child think that one parent is not respected as an authority figure and lacks a special bond with them. The alienating parent usually starts this way of naming, lowering the targeted parent to the level of a friend or neighbor, causing the parent to feel hurt and rejected.

11. Confiding In The Child

The alienating parent frequently shares legal or adult matters with the child, such as the child custody case, child support issues, or inappropriate details about the targeted parent. The information often casts the alienating parent as a victim of the other’s harmful actions, stirring sympathy and fostering resentment toward the targeted parent. Involving the child in adult conversations creates a sense of importance, strengthening loyalty to the alienating caregiver.

12. Telling The Child The Targeted Parent Does Not Love Them

The alienating parent often tells the child that the targeted parent does not love or care for them. The child is led to believe that the child only has one sole source of love and support. Repeatedly describing the alienating parent as the only caregiver who loves the child reinforces a cycle of dependency, making the child withdraw their love and affection from the other parent.

13. Forcing The Child To Choose

An alienating parent forcing the child to choose between them and the other parent often uses a manipulative parenting technique. The alienating parent offers a limited set of options. The child feels judged, torn between parental expectations, and struggles with affection and cooperation.

14. Telling The Child The Targeted Parent Is Dangerous

“Telling the child that the targeted parent is dangerous” is a tactic used by alienating parents to create fear and distrust toward the other parent. The alienating parent tends to exaggerate or fabricate negative information to portray the targeted parent as unsafe. The child experiences anxiety and reluctance to spend time with the other parent. The alienating parent often behaves overprotectively, reinforcing the child’s belief that the other parent poses a threat.

15. Withdrawing Love

Withholding affection, approval, or attention is a technique alienating parents use to control their children. The child’s loss of parental affection creates feelings of abandonment, triggering fear, insecurity, and an intense need to regain approval. The alienating parent often refuses physical closeness, gives silent treatment, or expresses disappointment until the child aligns with their views of rejecting the other parent.

16. Interfering With Communication

An alienating parent interferes with communication by obstructing or limiting contact between the child and the other parent, including phone calls, messages, or in-person meetings. Disrupting contacts isolates the child, weakens the bond with the targeted parent, and fosters dependency on the alienating parent. Some alienating parents ignore messages, block visitation, or manipulate circumstances to create communication barriers, further distancing the child from the other parent.

Limiting contact involves restricting the child’s time with the other parent using excuses like scheduling conflicts or creating obstacles to visits. The alienating parent conceals the child or relocates without notice in extreme cases. Limiting contact aims to weaken the bond between the child and the other parent, fostering dependence on the alienator. The child often feels neglected or confused, reinforcing the alienator’s narrative that the targeted parent is uncommitted or uninterested in their relationship.

What Is Parental Alienation Syndrome?

Parental alienation syndrome (PAS or malicious parent syndrome) in a child is the result of parental alienation, where one parent attempts to turn the child or children against the other parent through manipulation, criticism, or other negative behaviors without reasonable justification. The child is often denied access to, encouraged to disrespect, or forced to cut ties with the other parent. Indoctrinated and controlled children experience unwarranted fear, hatred, and rejection toward the targeted parents and refuse contact with them. American psychiatrist Richard Gardner coined the term parental alienation syndrome in a 1985 study, “Recent Trends in Divorce and Custody Litigation”, published in the Academy Forum to describe the impact of this form of child abuse.

Why Does Parental Alienation Happen?

Parental alienation often happens in high-conflict divorce or separation situations. Parental alienation sometimes appears because the alienating parents view divorce and custody as a war to be won. Some alienating parents feel threatened that the other parent gains custody, resorting to manipulation to maintain the bond with the child.

Some alienating parents harbor resentment, anger, or feelings of betrayal toward the targeted parent after the divorce. The emotional turmoil pushes the alienating parent to inflict harm while co-parenting, such as depriving the targeted parent of seeing the child. Some alienating mothers accuse fathers of sexual abuse to enact hatred and damage the father’s reputation, according to a 1998 study titled “The Parental Alienation Syndrome: What is it and What Data Support it?” conducted by Kathleen Coulborn Faller and published in the Child Maltreatment Journal.

Alienating behaviors sometimes emerge due to resentment from financial difficulties following the divorce. The lack of financial resources to hire lawyers to secure custody is compensated by manipulating the child’s emotions to develop hatred or negative feelings toward the other parent.

A pattern of narcissistic parents with narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, traumatic childhood experiences, or paranoid traits was identified in the preferred parents, according to a 2010 study titled ” Parental Alienation, DSM-V, and ICD-11,” by William Bernet et al., published in The American Journal of Family Therapy.

Some alienating parents believe the other parent is harmful, using overprotectiveness as a reason to distance the child from the other parent. Some alienating parents mask the hostility with obsessive love, claiming to protect the child from harm.

What Types of Family Dynamics Are Most Commonly Associated With Parental Alienation Syndrome?

High-conflict family dynamics, such as divorce or separation, are commonly associated with parental alienation syndrome. The conflict between the parents becomes the central focus of the family dynamics. Children in such single-parent families are drawn into the dispute unwillingly, causing them severe psychological distress.

Is Parental Alienation A Form Of Child Abuse?

Yes, parental alienation is a form of child abuse if the act of the parent results in or presents an imminent risk of severe emotional harm. Child abuse occurs when a parent’s behavior leads to death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation, or presents an imminent risk of serious harm, according to the Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA), amended by the CAPTA Reauthorization Act of 2010.

Parental alienation commonly occurs in the context of child custody disputes during and after parental separation, involving the programming of a child by one parent to denigrate the other to harm, damage, and destroy the parent-child relationship. Parental alienation often leads to lasting psychosocial disturbances among children, including social anxiety and feelings of self-hatred. Alienated children struggle with emotional development, trust issues, and social anxiety, potentially isolating them from peers, hindering their ability to form meaningful relationships, and promoting feelings of abandonment or betrayal. An alienated child is a child affected by parental relationship distress (CAPRD), a condition that requires clinical attention, according to the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition). However, parental alienation is not a mental disorder included in the DSM-5 due to the concern that such a construct sometimes leads to clinicians discounting a child’s valid fears of an abusive parent, according to a 2016 study titled “Child Affected by Parental Relationship Distress,” by Bernet, William et al., published in the Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry.

What Are The Mental Effects Of Alienating Parents?

The mental effects of alienating parents include low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, PTSD, lack of trust, substance abuse, and increased suicidal ideations. Below are the mental health outcomes of parental alienation.

• Low Self-esteem: Low self-esteem and self-hatred are prevalent in adult children of parental alienation. It can be devastating for a child to hear that their parents hate them and will never love them. An alienating parent often makes that assertion, which can lead to low self-esteem and self-hatred in the child.
• Anxiety: Anxiety is characterized by persistent worries about future events, affecting about 55% of individuals who experienced parental alienation in a 2022 study titled “The Impact of Parental Alienating Behaviours on the Mental Health of Adults Alienated in Childhood” by Suzanne Verhaar et al. published in Children. Alienating behaviors often involve a mismatch between the child’s experiences and information given by the alienating parent, leading to feelings of threat, self-blame, and anxiety.
• Depression: Depression is characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of interest in daily activities. Experiences of parental alienation are closely associated with depressive symptoms among children. Conflicts between parents negatively affect one’s socio-emotional development, leading to feelings of anticipatory anxiety and guilt as the child is pressured to disrespect and hate the targeted parent.
• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition involving flashbacks, nightmares, and anxiety about a traumatic event. Alienated children typically experience feelings of instability and unsafe environments, increasing the risk of developing PTSD. Unmet socio-emotional needs and conflicting relationships among parents cause the brain to prioritize stress management over healthy emotional development, leading to long-term difficulties in adulthood.
• Lack of Trust: A recurrent theme among adult children is a lack of trust in themselves and others. Some believe no one else would love and commit to them if their parents didn’t love them enough to stay in their lives.
• Substance Abuse: Substance abuse and addiction involve the harmful use of alcohol and drugs as a way to cope with emotional distress. Adults who experience parental alienating behaviors in childhood sometimes turn to substances from late adolescence to early adulthood to escape or numb feelings, helping them to avoid facing emotions and cope with distressing events.
• Self-harm and Suicide Attempts: Self-harm and suicidal ideation involve thoughts or actions related to intentionally hurting oneself or contemplating suicide. Some individuals with a history of parental alienation experience suicidal thoughts from adolescence into adulthood, including specific attempts of suicide due to increased exposure to stressful and traumatic events. Alienated children sometimes become target parents in their adulthood, leading to increased distress from the cycle of exposure to alienating behaviors, which heightens the risk of self-harm, according to a 2022 study titled “The Impact of Parental Alienating Behaviours on the Mental Health of Adults Alienated in Childhood,” by Suzanne Verhaar et al., published in Children.
• Alienation From Own Children: Tragedies tend to repeat themselves. Many adult children have destructive patterns that lead to family breakdown, a poor parent-child relationship, and alienation from their children.
• Divorce in Adulthood: This group has a higher divorce rate than the national average. Adult children tend to choose life partners remarkably similar to their alienating parents. These partners put their own needs first, lacked empathy for others, and sought excessive control over them, eventually leading to a divorce.
  

What Trauma Is Caused By Parental Alienation?

Emotional trauma is often caused by parental alienation. Children subjected to alienation experience repeated fear and manipulation, leading to psychosocial adjustment disorders and suicidal ideation. Getting separated from the targeted parent causes poor psychological adjustment, according to a 2019 study titled “Parental Alienation: The Blossoming of a Field of Study,” conducted by Jennifer J. Harman et al. and published in the Current Directions in Psychological Science.

Alienated children suffer from a cascade of losses, including loss of individual self, childhood, innocence, a caring parent, extended family, and community. Adults alienated during childhood often face long-term effects, including anxiety, depression, personality disorders, self-esteem issues, and substance abuse. Emotional pain from childhood trauma, such as guilt, anger, self-hatred, loneliness, helplessness, grief, and abandonment, often develop in adulthood. Other long-term psychological issues include phobias, attachment issues, lack of trust in others and self, and communication problems with their children when they become parents.

What is Parenting Alienation Style?

Parental alienation involves influencing a child to reject and harbor unjustified negative feelings toward one parent. Alienated children often suffer from impaired socio-emotional development, such as difficulties forming healthy relationships with themselves and others, poor mental health, increased distress, and low self-esteem.
Signs of alienated children include persistent negative remarks, constant rejection, and displays of aggression toward the negative parent. Alienating parents, in contrast, manipulates and cultivates a distorted image of the targeted parent, typically encouraging the child’s negative views, as well as actively undermining and isolating the child from the targeted parent.

Parental alienation significantly leads to lasting psychosocial disturbances among children, including social anxiety and feelings of self-hatred. Alienated children often struggle with emotional development, trust issues, and social anxiety, potentially isolating them from peers, hindering their ability to form meaningful relationships, and promoting feelings of abandonment or betrayal, according to a 2018 study from Canada titled “Parental Alienation as a Form of Emotional Child Abuse: Current State of Knowledge and Future Directions for Research,” conducted by Edward Kruk, Ph.D. at the University of British Columbia and published in Family Science Review.

How Can Children Heal From Parenting Alienation?

Children can heal from parenting alienation by seeking medical help from mental health professionals. Specialized family therapies help the child rebuild communication with the targeted parent, challenge distorted thinking, strengthen critical thinking skills, improve family communication, and establish healthy boundaries within the new family structure. Changing the custody arrangements reduces the child’s distress and improves the child-parent relationship, according to a 2016 study titled “Recommendations for best practice in response to parental alienation: findings from a systematic review,” conducted by Kate Templer et al. and published in the Journal of Family Therapy.

Other parental alienation treatments include psychoeducation programs, such as the Family Reflections Reunification Program (FRRP), Overcoming Barriers Family Camp, High Road to Family Reunification, Family Bridges, and Transitioning Families Reunification Model.