Toxic Parenting: Signs, Types, And How To Deal With Toxic Parents
Toxic parenting is a harmful behavior pattern such as manipulation, control, and emotional or physical abuse, which damage a child’s mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Toxic parents often prioritize their own needs, showing excessive criticism, lack of boundaries, or invasive control, which leads to chronic stress, low self-esteem, and underdeveloped coping mechanisms in children. Root causes often stem from unresolved trauma or negative learned behaviors, exacerbated by stress and lack of emotional regulation.
Signs of toxic parenting include mental or physical abuse, gaslighting, excessive criticism, and controlling behaviors. Some toxic parents humiliate their children, enforce unrealistic rules, or manipulate them through guilt and shame. Toxic parenting behaviors erode trust and self-worth, leading to severe emotional underdevelopment. Some toxic parenting practices are unintentional or stem from cultural norms. Some toxic parents are unaware of the harm they cause, while others justify their actions as being in the child’s best interest.
Toxic parenting significantly harms a child’s emotional and mental health by creating chronic stress that alters brain development and increases the risk of anxiety, depression, and attachment disorders. Neuroimaging shows toxic stress changes brain areas like the amygdala and hippocampus, affecting emotional regulation and memory. Adults who have experienced toxic parenting often struggle with trust, intimacy, and self-esteem. These adult children find it difficult to form healthy relationships.
There are various types of toxic parents, including abusive, narcissistic, manipulative, and controlling, with each showing distinct harmful behaviors. For example, narcissistic parents focus on their needs, dismissing their children’s emotions. Controlling parents limit their children’s autonomy and manipulate their decisions. Strict or authoritarian parenting becomes toxic when parenting practices involve physical or emotional harm, neglect, or demeaning discipline.
Children raised in toxic households often carry emotional scars into adulthood, affecting personality development and relationships. Maltreated children often develop insecure attachment styles, codependency, or maladaptive personality traits like low cooperativeness or high neuroticism. Breaking the cycle of toxic parenting involves seeking therapy, enhancing resilience, and building supportive relationships. Parenting training and addressing unresolved personal trauma are key to interrupting intergenerational cycles of harmful behavior.
To cope with toxic parents, children must recognize harmful behaviors, set firm boundaries, limit contact, and prioritize self-care. Therapy and emotional resilience-building techniques help manage the long-term effects and promote healing. Toxic parenting sometimes leads to parental alienation. Parental alienation involves one parent manipulating a child to reject the other parent, causing psychological distress and long-lasting relational damage.
Healing from toxic parenting requires addressing trauma, developing self-compassion, and strengthening self-esteem. Setting boundaries and seeking professional support protect well-being and mitigate the negative impacts, helping individuals rebuild their lives and establish healthier relationships.
What Is Toxic Parenting?
Toxic parenting is a pattern of harmful behaviors by parents that lead to emotional, mental, and sometimes physical harm to a child. Emotionally toxic parents tend to prioritize their own needs, acting in self-centered or manipulative ways that undermine emotional safety and stability within the home. Toxic parents display excessive criticism, verbal or emotional abuse, or a lack of boundaries. Toxic parents invade privacy or impose rigid control over their children’s choices and lifestyles. Toxic, controlling parents exert control through guilt, money, or a sense of obligation to stifle the child’s individuality, leading the child to feel undervalued and unsupported, often resulting in chronic stress, low self-esteem, and lack of coping mechanisms. Toxic parenting sometimes escalates to physical harm if parents struggle with anger or impulsivity, causing physical discipline to cross into abuse.
The causes of toxic parenting are often rooted in unresolved personal issues, mental health challenges, or negative learned behaviors from the parents’ childhoods. Many toxic parents struggle with inconsistent parenting techniques, exhibiting unpredictable shifts between leniency and harshness, creating significant emotional harm to children. Stress, such as financial strain, relationship issues, or emotional inability, often triggers toxic parenting. Behaviors of toxic parents often include impulsive or angry reactions when triggered and the use of manipulative or abusive tactics to project frustrations onto their children.
What Are The Signs Of Toxic Parenting?
Mental abuse, physical abuse, harsh punishment, boasting “tough love”, gaslighting, and humiliating behaviors are signs of toxic parenting. Toxic parent traits include being strict, critical, rigid, lacking emotional regulation, and insensitive toward others. Below are the signs of toxic parents.
- Mentally Abusive: Toxic parents are psychologically abusive, often yelling, screaming, and using harsh criticism that is emotionally damaging to their children.
- Physically Abusive: Some toxic parents harm their children physically or sexually, causing fear instead of providing love and protection.
- Punitive: Toxic parents use harsh punishment for control and discipline, often disproportionate to the child’s behavior.
- Justifying Abuse as Tough Love: Toxic parents justify their abusive behavior as “tough love” or “old-school parenting.”
- Gaslighting: Toxic parents twist the truth to create confusion, make their children doubt themselves, and shift blame away from themselves.
- Humiliating: Toxic parents humiliate and belittle their children to undermine their self-esteem.
- Overly Strict: Toxic parents enforce strict and unrealistic rules.
- Overly Critical: Toxic parents constantly criticize their children, making their children feel they never meet expectations.
- Rigid: Toxic parents impose their opinions and values as the only correct ones, forcing their children to adopt the same beliefs.
- Emotionally Unregulated: Toxic parents have explosive tempers and dramatic outbursts, which they take out on their children.
- Overly Sensitive: Toxic parents are hypersensitive to criticism, perceiving disagreement as a personal attack.
- Unaffectionate: Toxic parents rarely show affection or affirm their children’s worth.
- Controlling: Toxic parents use fear to control their children, and their unreasonable demands often persist into adulthood.
- Intrusive: Toxic parents invade their children’s privacy and are overly involved in their social lives.
- Jealous Of Friendships: Toxic parents are jealous of their children’s friendships and try to isolate them.
- Manipulative: Toxic parents use fear, guilt, and shame to manipulate and control their children’s emotions.
- Weaponizing Love: Some toxic parents withhold affection, use silent treatment, or show favoritism as a form of control.
- Emotionally Distant: Toxic parents create a distant environment that prevents secure attachment.
- Unsupportive: Toxic parents do not offer emotional support or encouragement and ignore their children’s struggles.
- Invalidating: Toxic parents dismiss or belittle their children’s emotions, making them feel misunderstood.
- Disrespectful: Toxic parents disregard their children’s ideas, opinions, or preferences.
- Narcissistic: Toxic parents prioritize their needs above all else and expect admiration without concern for others.
- Self-Righteous: Toxic parents have an “I’m always right” attitude to maintain control.
- Unrealistic: Toxic parents unrealistically expect their children to anticipate their needs without being told.
- Seeing Children As Extensions: Toxic parents do not view their children as independent individuals but as extensions of themselves.
- Unapologetic: Toxic parents refuse to admit their actions are wrong or harmful, insisting their behavior is in their children’s best interest.
- Blameful: Toxic parents never take responsibility for their actions and often blame others for household issues.
Are Parents Aware Of Being Toxic?
Yes, some toxic parents are aware of being toxic, but many are not, according to a 2013 study titled “Honestly Arrogant or Simply Misunderstood? Narcissists’ Awareness of their Narcissism,” by Erika N. Carlson, published in Self and Identity. Findings indicate that many narcissists know that they behave in a narcissistic way.
Some parents recognize their actions but struggle with personal issues, such as past trauma or mental health challenges, which impede their ability to change.
Others are unaware due to a lack of self-awareness or understanding of healthy parenting practices. Cultural and societal norms sometimes influence unaware parents by misrepresenting toxic parenting behaviors as acceptable parenting practices. Some toxic parents are in denial about the impact of their actions, believing they are acting in the child’s best interest.
How Unhealthy Is Toxic Parenting?
Toxic parenting is extremely unhealthy due to its impacts on the child’s immediate well-being and long-term emotional and psychological health. Toxic parenting involves patterns of behavior that are emotionally manipulative, controlling, or abusive. Toxic behaviors include constant criticism, unpredictable mood swings, neglect of emotional needs, or using guilt to manipulate the child. Children raised by toxic parents tend to have lifelong struggles with anxiety, depression, insecurity, and difficulty in establishing healthy social connections or relationships.
Authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved parenting are considered toxic types of parenting style. Authoritarian parenting involves high expectations but low responsiveness. Authoritarian parents often prioritize control and obedience over emotional understanding, leading to harsh criticisms and punishments. Permissive parenting involves low expectations but high responsiveness. Permissive parenting is toxic if the caregiving is inconsistent or lacks boundaries. Uninvolved parenting involves low expectations and responsiveness, often leading to emotional deprivation and a lack of development. Children with neglectful parents often internalize shame and are confused about their self-worth.
How Do Toxic Parents Affect A Child’s Emotional And Mental Health?
Toxic parenting damages a child’s emotional and mental health by eroding self-worth, leading to low self-esteem and undermining trust, which creates challenges in forming healthy relationships. Toxic parents create chronic stress, known as toxic stress, that fundamentally alters a child’s developing brain and nervous system. When children experience toxic parenting, their bodies are constantly flooded with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. Persistent elevation of stress hormones alters gene expression (epigenetics), affecting how the brain develops and processes information. This phenomenon, known as epigenetic modification, has lifelong mental and emotional health consequences, according to a 2014 study titled “The Lifelong Effects of Early Childhood Adversity and Toxic Stress” by W. Thomas Boyce, published in Pediatric Dentistry.
Neuroimaging studies indicate that toxic stress leads to physical alterations in brain structure, including the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex. They are the parts of the brain responsible for emotions, memory, learning, executive functions, and emotional regulation. These structural changes are associated with emotional dysregulation and psychopathologies later in life, including complex posttraumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD).
Adolescents and young adults with a history of childhood maltreatment are 3 times more likely to become depressed and suicidal, according to a 1999 study titled “Childhood Abuse and Neglect: Specificity of Effects on Adolescent and Young Adult Depression and Suicidality,” by Brown, Jocelyn et al., published in the Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry.
What Are The Different Types Of Toxic Parents?
The types of toxic parents include abusive, strict, controlling, narcissistic, and gaslighting. Below are the different forms of toxic parenting constituting dysfunctional family dynamics.
- Abusive Parents are physically, sexually, or emotionally abusive. For example, a father hits his child when they get a poor grade, or a mother yells demeaning insults at her child, telling them they are worthless.
- Strict Parents have rigid rules and expect blind obedience. For example, parents create rules forbidding teenagers from hanging out with friends after school.
- Controlling Parents exert excessive influence over their children’s lives. For example, a parent decides what subjects the child must major in at college, disregarding his child’s preferences and career aspirations.
- Narcissistic Parents are characterized by excessive self-focus, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. For example, a parent constantly boasts about their achievements and dismisses their child’s while expecting the child to praise them.
- Gaslighting Parents are psychologically manipulative, causing their children to question their perceptions, memories, and sanity. For example, a parent frequently denies promises they make.
- Manipulative Parents influence or control their children to benefit their needs or desires. For example, a parent guilt-trips the child into staying home from a school trip.
- Codependent Parents enmesh their needs excessively with those of their children. A parent restricts the child from visiting friends or inviting them over due to a fear of fostering independence.
- Helicopter Parents hover intrusively over their children and prevent the development of coping skills. For example, a parent calls the teacher and argues about grades whenever the child does not get an A.
- Neglectful Parents are uninvolved and unresponsive to their children’s needs. For example, a parent consistently leaves a young child at home without supervision.
- Emotionally Unavailable Parents are emotionally unavailable and lack warmth toward their children. For example, a parent constantly dismisses the child’s feelings by saying, “Just get over it.”
How Does Toxic Parenting Differ From Authoritarian Parenting?
Authoritarian parenting and toxic parenting have overlaps, but they are not always the same. Authoritarian parenting involves strict rules, high expectations, and little room for dialogue. Authoritarian parents demand obedience, expecting their children to follow rules without question. Authoritarian parents become toxic when harsh punishments, constant criticism, or emotional neglect are used. When an authoritarian parent’s methods involve degrading a child or instilling fear to enforce compliance, it crosses the line into toxic parenting. However, authoritarian parents who believe in strict rules but use non-harmful tactics to discipline are not toxic.
How Does Growing Up In A Toxic Household Impact Relationships In Adulthood?
Growing up in a toxic household impacts relationships in adulthood, shaping how individuals perceive, trust, and interact with others. Toxic parents often create deep-seated trust issues in adulthood, making it difficult for individuals to feel safe in relationships or believe in others’ intentions. A toxic home defined by emotional manipulation, neglect, or control teaches children to question the reliability of those closest, a pattern persisting in adult relationships. Lack of trust causes doubts in a partner’s fidelity, friendships, or hesitation to open up, fearing betrayal.
Individuals raised in toxic households often associate closeness with vulnerability, conflict, or rejection. Toxic parents frequently fail to provide consistent love or acceptance, leaving these adults uncomfortable with emotional closeness and a tendency to withdraw or sabotage relationships before they become meaningful. Fear of intimacy prevents authentic connections, creating barriers to forming healthy, fulfilling partnerships.
Attachment problems are common, as many adults from toxic homes develop insecure attachment styles, including anxious, avoidant, and fearful. Individuals with an anxious attachment fear abandonment and seek constant reassurance. Avoidantly attached individuals distance themselves to prevent potential hurt. These adults are trapped in similar attachment cycles, often with partners who reinforce the family dynamics.
Some adults raised in toxic households develop codependency as they have learned to prioritize others’ needs over their own. Such individuals feel responsible for “fixing” or caretaking partners. They have difficulty setting boundaries or recognizing their self-worth outside of relationships.
How To Deal With Toxic Parents?
To deal with toxic parents, recognize the toxic behavior, set firm boundaries, stop pleasing them, don’t argue, and protect yourself. Below are the steps to handle toxic parents.
- Recognize toxic behavior in your parent: Acknowledge when you see the signs of toxic parents.
- Set and enforce firm boundaries: Clearly define and communicate acceptable and unacceptable behaviors. Consistent enforcement of these boundaries is crucial to maintaining a sense of control and protecting your mental health.
- Limit Contact: Limiting the frequency and duration of contact with toxic parents reduces stress and emotional turmoil.
- Seek Professional Support: Therapy provides a safe space to process emotions, develop coping strategies, address unresolved childhood issues, and improve psychological well-being.
- Develop Self-Compassion and Self-Acceptance: Building self-compassion and self-acceptance mitigates the negative effects of toxic parenting by enhancing self-worth and encouraging kindness toward oneself, improving mental health outcomes.
- Enhance Emotional Resilience: Strengthening emotional resilience through mindfulness, stress management techniques, and healthy lifestyle choices helps manage the emotional impact of interactions with toxic parents.
- Prioritize Self-Care: Prioritize activities that promote physical and emotional well-being, such as exercise, hobbies, and relaxation techniques. Self-care is essential for maintaining balance and reducing the impact of stress.
- Consider Legal or Formal Boundaries: Seek legal measures such as restraining orders or formal agreements if the interactions are abusive or harmful.
What Are The Long-Term Effects Of Toxic Parenting On Personality Development?
The long-term toxic parents mental health effects include maladaptive personality traits, such as more avoidance, reduced self-directedness, and lower cooperativeness. Personality traits of individuals with toxic parents are listed below.
- More Harm Avoidance: Adults with childhood trauma, such as toxic parenting, are found to have higher levels of harm avoidance, according to a 2015 study from Brazil titled “Childhood trauma is associated with maladaptive personality traits,” by Julia Frozi et al., published in Child Abuse & Neglect.
- Reduced Self-directedness: Adults with childhood trauma, like toxic parenting, are shown to have reduced self-directedness, according to the same study.
- Lower Cooperativeness: Adults with childhood trauma, including toxic parenting, tend to have lower cooperativeness.
- Higher Neuroticism: Adolescents who were maltreated in childhood are found to be associated with higher neuroticisms, according to a 2021 study titled “Prospective Associations of Parenting and Childhood Maltreatment with Personality in Adolescent Males,” by Jenny M. Cundiff et al., published in the Journal of research on adolescence.
- Less Extraversion: Adolescents maltreated by caregivers in childhood tend to be less extroverted.
- Lower conscientiousness: Adolescents with maltreating caregivers are more likely to exhibit lower conscientiousness.
- Less openness: Childhood maltreatment is linked to lower openness in adolescents.
- Less agreeableness: Adolescents with maltreatment in childhood are more likely to be less agreeable.
- More Externalizing Symptoms: Harsh parenting is linked to externalizing behaviors, such as aggression, impulsivity, and delinquency, according to a 2024 study titled “The Legacy of Harsh Parenting: Enduring and Sleeper Effects on Trajectories of Externalizing and Internalizing Symptoms” by Thompson, Morgan J. et al., published in Developmental Psychology.
- More Internalizing Symptoms: Harsh parenting is associated with internalizing behaviors, including depression, anxiety, and psychosomatic problems.
- Intergenerational Transmission of Trauma: A history of childhood maltreatment is associated with toxic parenting in the next generation, according to a 2020 study titled “Intergenerational effects of childhood maltreatment and malnutrition on personality maladaptivity in a Barbadian longitudinal cohort,” by Hock, Rebecca S. et al., published in Psychiatry research.
How Can You Break The Cycle Of Toxic Parenting?
To break the cycle of toxic parenting, one can attend parenting training, build supportive relationships, and seek therapeutic interventions.
Intergenerational transmission of maladaptive parenting behavior can be disrupted by learning positive parenting strategies in parenting training, according to a 2023 study titled “The Intergenerational Transmission of Maladaptive Parenting and Its Impact on Child Mental Health: Examining Cross-Cultural Mediating Pathways and Moderating Protective Factor,” by Rothenberg, W.A. et al., published in Child Psychiatry & Human Development.
Having a supportive romantic partner significantly reduces the likelihood of harsh parenting, according to a 2017 study titled “Disrupting Intergenerational Continuity in Harsh Parenting: Self-Control and a Supportive Partner,” conducted by Schofield, Thomas J et al. at Iowa State University and published in Development and psychopathology.
Seeking help to address mental health issues reduces the risk of transmitting adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) to the next generation. Therapeutic interventions such as psychoanalytic and mentalization-based therapies help parents work through their past traumas and improve their parenting practices.
Building a social support network helps parents manage stress and provides positive parenting models.
What Are The Psychological Effects Of Controlling And Manipulative Parents?
The psychological effects of controlling and manipulative parents include increased mental disorders, lower self-esteem, higher social anxiety, and more behavioral problems.
Controlling parenting increases the likelihood of anxiety and depression in children. A lack of autonomy and persistent pressure to fulfill parental expectations often contribute to these outcomes.
Controlling behaviors undermine a child’s self-esteem, creating feelings of inadequacy and an inability to make independent decisions.
Parental psychological control increases social anxiety in children, hindering social interactions and the development of prosocial behaviors.
Manipulative parenting tends to lead to externalizing behaviors, including aggression and rule-breaking, especially in environments with high community violence.
How Do Environmental Factors Influence The Prevalence Of Toxic Parenting Behaviors?
Environmental factors that influence the prevalence of toxic parenting include lower socioeconomic status (SES), more community violence, and less social support.
Parents from low SES backgrounds tend to have higher financial stress and psychological distress related to socioeconomic influences. Low SES parents with less social support are at increased risk of engaging in toxic parenting behaviors.
Exposure to community violence is associated with increased harsh and neglectful parenting behaviors.
Parents who perceive their environment as threatening are more likely to engage in controlling parenting practices, according to a 2020 study titled “The Impact of Environmental Threats on Controlling Parenting and Children’s Motivation,” by Robichaud, Jean-Michel et al., published in the Journal of Family Psychology.
How Do Toxic Behaviors Undermine The Goals Of Positive Parenting?
Toxic parenting behaviors undermine positive parenting goals by causing negative psychological and behavioral outcomes in children. Positive parenting promotes healthy development through warmth, support, and consistent discipline. Harshness, manipulation, and neglect contribute to internalizing symptoms, externalizing behaviors, lower self-esteem, and social anxiety in children.
Can Good Parenting Lead to Toxic Behaviors in Parents?
Good parenting practices, when excessive, can lead to toxic behaviors in parents. For example, over-involvement or overprotectiveness creates the perception of controlling parenting. Controlling practices stifle a child’s development of autonomy and independence, resulting in toxic behavior for healthy child development despite the good parenting intent.
What Are The Signs Of A Toxic Parent-Child Relationship In Adulthood?
Signs of a toxic parent-child relationship in adulthood include emotional distance, psychological distress, and poor relationships with others. Signs of toxic parent-child relationships in adulthood are listed below.
- Emotional Distance: Adults who experienced childhood maltreatment often report lower levels of emotional closeness with their parents.
- Poor Relationship Quality: The quality of the relationship with the abusive parent in adulthood is often poor, characterized by a lack of trust, frequent conflicts, and limited social support exchanges.
- Psychological Distress: Adults with a history of childhood abuse tend to experience higher levels of anxiety, depression, and other psychological issues. Ongoing negative interactions with the abusive parent exacerbate these mental health challenges.
- Feelings of Rejection: Adults who grew up with toxic parenting often harbor feelings of rejection towards their parents.
- Insecure Attachment Styles: Childhood maltreatment is associated with the development of insecure attachment styles in adulthood, which negatively impact intimate relationships and the overall quality of close relationships.
- Increased Stress Reactivity: Adults with a history of childhood abuse often exhibit heightened emotional reactivity to daily stressors.
How Can You Heal From Toxic Parenting?
To heal from toxic parenting, seek therapy, process childhood trauma, and develop self-compassion.
- Seek Therapy: Trust with a therapist forms a foundation for addressing adverse childhood experiences and reducing their influence, according to a 2020 study titled “Repairing the Effects of Childhood Trauma: The Long and Winding Road,” by Palmer, Christine et al., published in the Journal of psychiatric and mental health nursing.
- Make Sense of Trauma: Processing trauma and making sense of the experiences involve exploring and normalizing feelings of shame and rejection while mourning the absence of a nurturing childhood.
- Develop Self-compassion: Self-compassion helps counteract the effects of emotional invalidation experienced during childhood. Recognizing personal suffering and responding with kindness rather than self-criticism helps build resilience.
- Address Self-esteem: Self-esteem influences the impact of childhood abuse on psychological well-being. Seek therapeutic help to strengthen self-worth and address internalized negative beliefs formed during childhood maltreatment.
- Develop Emotional Resilience: Emotional resilience helps manage daily stress for individuals with a history of parental abuse. Cognitive-behavioral strategies support reframing stressors and decreasing emotional reactivity.
- Set Boundaries: Addressing unresolved issues with the abusive parent, such as setting boundaries, seeking closure, and improving the current parent-child relationship, helps improve psychological well-being.
How Can You Set Boundaries With Toxic Parents And Protect Your Well-Being?
To set boundaries with toxic parents and protect your well-being, establish clear limits, restrict contact, and seek professional support.
Define acceptable and unacceptable behaviors with clarity and precision. Communicate boundaries assertively and with consistency to establish control and safeguard mental health.
Limit the frequency and duration of contact if interactions with toxic parents harm well-being. Reducing exposure helps decrease stress and emotional distress.
Therapy provides a secure environment to process emotions and develop coping strategies. Professional guidance addresses unresolved childhood issues and enhances psychological well-being.
Developing self-compassion and self-acceptance mitigates the harmful impact of toxic parenting. Recognizing personal worth and practicing kindness toward oneself improves mental health outcomes, according to a 2022 study titled “Childhood Abuse and Adult Relationships With Perpetrating Parents: Impacts on Depressive Symptoms of Caregivers of Aging Parents,” by Kong, Jooyoung et al., published in Aging & Mental Health.
Enhancing emotional resilience through mindfulness, stress management techniques, and healthy lifestyle choices supports coping with the emotional impact of interactions with toxic parents.
Rely on supportive friends, family members, or organized support groups. A strong network offers emotional validation and practical guidance, essential in preserving mental well-being.
Focus on activities that enhance physical and emotional well-being, including exercise, hobbies, and relaxation techniques. Self-care plays a vital role in maintaining balance and minimizing stress effects.
Legal measures like restraining orders or formal agreements become necessary in extreme situations involving abusive or harmful toxic behavior to ensure safety and well-being.
Can Toxic Parenting Lead To Parental Alienation?
Yes, toxic parenting can lead to parental alienation through behaviors that manipulate a child’s perception of the other parent, causing unjustified rejection. Manipulative behaviors causing parental alienation include denigration, limiting contact, and creating loyalty conflicts, which often severely damage the child’s relationship with the alienated parent.
Impacts of parental alienation on the child include psychological distress, self-esteem issues, difficulty forming healthy relationships, and disenfranchised grief, according to a 2022 study titled “Losses Experienced by Children Alienated From a Parent,” by Harman, Jennifer J. et al., published in Current Opinion in Psychology.
What Readers Are Saying
Explained a LOT...glad I’m not alone and there’s articles about it.
I am 73 yo and still effected by my mother and the "hatred" she had towards me. I was an only child so I received the full brunt.I have done everything that is suggested in the article which makes me very proud of myself. BUT - deep down inside you always wonder "why me?" There isn't a reason. It was all done just to make the one person feel more powerful - an uncontrolled person feel in control.I will never tell another person to "understand" someone's need to hurt them. Or, to accept it.Every time someone tells me about how "guilty" they feel because someone who was supposed to love them wants to hurt them - it hurts me. BUT - I know I can't do anything about it - the only one who can is the one being hurt!!!! I just do not like "double bind" situations.Thank you - this article makes me feel "normal."
Clear characteristics of toxic parents and solutions to help oneself in dealing with them and setting boundaries.
Thank you for this excellent information. I am a grown woman in my mid-forties who, to this day, is still dealing with this issue, as both of my parents do NOT understand (or want to understand) that their "little girl" is now a grown woman. They cannot seem to get past that part. They are toxic, but in absolute denial of it. Any time I have tried to bring up anything of or relating to the matter, I'm shut down immediately as if they cannot accept the reality. It's very frustrating. They refuse to see their own issues, and God forbid if I dare even brought up the consideration of seeking therapy. Forget about it. They don't think anything is wrong with them. Sad, so sad.
Great article. It explains everything that I have been experiencing and I didn't know exactly how to explain it.
Thanks. A wonderful read to help understand certain details. Hope to read some more content. I hope it works with ours.
This article helped me identify the toxicity in my childhood, and also how the emotional abuse I experienced set a regrettable pattern for two more generations.
I recognised what was happening during my childhood. Understamding helps a lot. I am 72 years old and my mother 92 and meeting her is still tough.