Authoritative Vs Authoritarian Parenting Style: Key Differences

Updated: Published: | ByPamela Li

Parenting styles are the different ways parents interact with and raise their children, significantly affecting a child’s emotional, social, and cognitive development. Psychologist Diana Baumrind identified four main styles: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved. Authoritative parenting, widely regarded as the most beneficial, blends firm limits with warmth, encouraging discipline and open communication. Authoritative parents create a balanced environment conducive to healthy child development. Authoritarian parenting emphasizes strict control and discipline without warmth or emotional support, often leading to emotionally distant relationships between parents and children.

Authoritative vs Authoritarian Parenting

The primary difference between authoritative and authoritarian parenting is their discipline, communication, and emotional support approach. Authoritative parents enforce rules with explanations and involve their children in decision-making, fostering independence and critical thinking. Authoritarian parents, however, demand unquestioning obedience, enforcing strict rules without explanation, which suppresses a child’s individuality and leads to emotional insecurity. Authoritative parents provide high emotional warmth and allow their children more freedom within defined boundaries, while authoritarian parents maintain rigid control, allowing little freedom or self-expression.

Children raised under authoritative parenting tend to exhibit higher self-esteem, better emotional regulation, and more positive social interactions. Children often feel supported and develop critical thinking skills due to the collaborative communication style. Children of authoritarian parents often experience anxiety, depression, and lower self-esteem due to the emotional coldness and high pressure to conform, stifling autonomy and self-expression.

Authoritative parenting offers numerous advantages over authoritarian parenting, promoting healthy development, strong parent-child relationships, and emotional intelligence. The authoritative style supports a child’s independence while maintaining appropriate discipline, leading to long-term benefits such as better academic performance, emotional resilience, and social competence. The authoritarian style’s focus on strict discipline and control leads to negative long-term outcomes, including mental health issues and difficulties in emotional regulation.

Authoritative parenting is considered more effective in raising a well-rounded child, whereas authoritarian parenting falls short in supporting a child’s emotional and psychological well-being despite promoting discipline and respect for authority.

What Are Parenting Styles?

Parenting styles are distinct behavior patterns, attitudes, and practices that describe how parents interact with and raise their children. Parenting styles represent variations in how parents approach discipline, communication, emotional support, and control. Psychologist Diana Baumrind identified four main categories of parenting styles, authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful. Baumrind’s work is central to understanding parenting styles. Each approach reflects different attitudes and practices, creating varying emotional climates in the parent-child relationship.

The authoritative parenting style, widely considered the most effective for fostering secure and supportive relationships, combines firm limits with warmth, responsiveness, and open communication. Authoritative parents maintain control and discipline but are nurturing and responsive to their children’s needs, creating a balanced environment for healthy socialization.

The authoritarian parenting style has high demandingness and control but low acceptance and responsiveness. Authoritarian parents enforce strict rules and expectations without room for dialogue, leading to children feeling pressured but not supported emotionally.

The permissive parenting style is highly accepting and responsive but exerts minimal control or discipline, leading to a lax environment where children lack the structure to learn self-regulation.

The uninvolved parenting style, which combines low acceptance and responsiveness with low control, represents a disengaged or unresponsive approach. Neglectful parents are emotionally unavailable or rejecting, providing little guidance or support.

These 4 parenting styles significantly impact parent-child relationships, influencing children’s emotional security, social development, and overall well-being. Authoritative parenting tends to result in well-adjusted children due to its nurturing and structured nature, but the other styles—authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful— lead to varying challenges.

What Are The Key Differences Between Authoritative And Authoritarian Parenting Style?

The key differences between authoritative and authoritarian parenting styles are their different characteristics: parental warmth, communication, discipline, freedom, rules, control, expectations, parent-child relationship, effects, and risk factors. Below are the main differences between authoritarian and authoritative parenting styles.

  1. Characteristics: Authoritative parenting is characterized by a balance of strictness and warmth. Parents enforce rules with nurturing and guidance, focusing on supporting the child’s growth and autonomy. Authoritative parents provide structure while maintaining a supportive, encouraging environment. Authoritarian parenting is defined by strictness combined with emotional coldness. Authoritarian parents demand absolute obedience, exerting excessive control with little consideration for the child’s emotional needs or individuality. The focus is on discipline and compliance rather than nurturing development.
  2. Parental Warmth: Authoritative parents offer high emotional warmth and support. Authoritative parents are responsive to their children’s needs and provide nurturing care that fosters emotional security. Authoritarian parents display low levels of warmth. Authoritarian parents are often emotionally distant and provide little nurturing, focusing more on control and discipline than emotional connection with their children.
  3. Communication: Authoritative parents engage in open, two-way communication. Authoritative parents explain the reasons behind rules and consequences, encouraging children to understand and participate in decision-making. Problem-solving is collaborative, and children are encouraged to voice their opinions. Authoritarian parents use one-way communication. Rules and expectations are communicated without explanation, and children are expected to obey without question. There is little room for discussion or input from the child.
  4. Discipline: Authoritative discipline is reasoned and consistent. Authoritative parents explain the consequences of actions and enforce discipline in a way that helps the child understand the importance of rules. Discipline is aimed at teaching rather than punishing. Authoritarian discipline is often harsh and punitive. Punishments are imposed strictly by authoritarian parents without explanation, and the focus is on immediate compliance rather than long-term learning or development.
  5. Freedom: Authoritative parents grant their children freedom within clearly defined boundaries. Children express their individuality and make choices within a framework that guides their behavior. Authoritarian parents allow little freedom. Children are expected to conform to strict rules and behaviors, with little room for self-expression or independence. Individuality is suppressed in favor of obedience.
  6. Rules: Authoritative parents enforce reasonable and explained family rules. Children are made to understand why rules are important, which helps them internalize the value of these rules and follow them with understanding. Authoritarian parents impose strict, rigid rules without much explanation. Children are expected to follow the rules without question, and the focus is on maintaining order and discipline.
  7. Control: Authoritative parenting involves moderate control, where parents assert authority and respect the child’s independence. Control is exercised with the child’s development in mind, helping them make good decisions while maintaining parental guidance. Authoritarian parenting exerts high levels of control, with parents dictating almost every aspect of the child’s behavior. There is little allowance for independence, and children are expected to conform to authoritarian parents’ strict demands.
  8. Expectations: Authoritative parents have high but achievable expectations. They recognize each child’s capabilities and set goals that challenge the child without being overwhelming. Expectations are tailored to promote growth and learning. Authoritarian parents have high expectations but are often rigid and unrealistic. The focus is on strict adherence to rules and conformity, with little regard for the child’s strengths or limitations.
  9. Parent-Child Relationship: Authoritative parents foster a strong, positive relationship with their children. Authoritative parents validate their children’s feelings, encouraging emotional expression and creating a mutual bond of respect and trust. The relationship is based on open communication and emotional support. Authoritarian parents tend to have a distant relationship with their children, focused primarily on obedience and discipline. Emotional connections are often minimal, and the relationship is more authoritarian than relational, with little room for empathy or emotional validation.
  10. Effects on Children: Authoritative parenting generally positively affects children, contributing to better mental health, higher life satisfaction, and more vital social skills. Children raised with this style often feel more confident, capable, and secure. Authoritarian parenting often leads to negative outcomes, such as increased anxiety, depression, and lower life satisfaction. Children struggle with self-esteem, experience difficulty in social interactions, and develop a fear of failure due to the high pressure for conformity.
  11. Risk Factors: Authoritative parenting has few risk factors due to its supportive, balanced approach. Combining structure and emotional support helps minimize behavioral issues and emotional struggles. Authoritarian parenting is associated with higher risk factors, including mental health issues like anxiety and depression. The lack of emotional support and excessive control lead to behavioral problems and poor emotional development in children.

authoritative vs authoritarian parenting

What Are The Main Advantages Of Authoritative Parenting Over Authoritarian Parenting?

The main advantages of authoritative parenting over authoritarian parenting are that authoritative parenting results in better development, positive relationships, autonomy, independence, critical thinking skills, adaptability, behavior, long-term outcomes, and emotional intelligence. Below are the advantages of authoritative parenting over authoritarian parenting.

1. Healthy Development

Children of authoritative parents exhibit healthy cognitive, emotional, and social development. Authoritative parenting has advantages over authoritarian parenting in healthy development because children with authoritative parents often achieve higher academic performance. Authoritative parenting results in children with high levels of confidence, responsibility, self-esteem, self-regulation, and emotion management. Authoritarian parents often have shy, socially withdrawn, vulnerable, and aggressive children, according to a 2016 study titled “Parenting Styles” by Roi Estlein, published in John Wiley & Sons.

2. Positive Parent-Child Relationship

A positive relationship between a parent and a child is warm, supportive, and respectful. Authoritative parenting has advantages over authoritarian parenting in building positive relationships because authoritative parenting fosters a close, nurturing relationship that is warm, supportive, and respectful. Children with authoritative parents feel comfortable sharing and expressing emotions. Authoritarian parenting fosters a relationship based on demands. There is strict, one-way communication, where children are expected to follow rules without question.

3. Autonomy And Independence

Autonomy and independence refer to the ability to make decisions without help or influence from other people. Authoritative parenting has advantages over authoritarian parenting in fostering independence because authoritative parents encourage children to learn and think independently. Authoritarian parents expect children to follow the rules without room for negotiation. Authoritative parents impose discipline but provide sufficient emotional support, allowing children to stand by their choices. Children of authoritarian parents have relatively low autonomy and independence, according to a 2016 study titled “Parenting Styles and Raising Delinquent Children: Responsibility of Parents in Encouraging Violent Behavior,” by Scoot A. Johnson, published in Forensic Research & Criminology International Journal.”

4. Critical Thinking

Critical thinking analyzes available facts, beliefs, and observations to make logical decisions. Authoritative parenting has advantages over authoritarian parenting in developing critical thinking skills because authoritative parents provide positive support and ample opportunities, leading to high critical thinking skills. Authoritarian parenting fosters critical thinking skills through reinforcement. Authoritarian parents criticize mistakes, prompting children to turn the cycles of criticism into useful critical thinking skills.

5. Adaptability

Adaptability refers to an individual’s ability to adjust to change.  Children of authoritative parents are more adaptable due to the balance of warmth and control. Authoritative parenting has advantages over authoritarian parenting in adaptability because authoritative parents encourage children to express opinions and make decisions, fostering problem-solving skills and positive coping strategies when adapting to a new environment. Children of authoritarian parents have difficulty adapting because authoritarian parents do not provide opportunities for independence and self-reliance, causing struggles with adapting. Students with authoritative parents reported more positive adjustment, less feelings of homesickness, and fewer internalizing symptoms during college than those with authoritarian parents, according to a 2007 study titled “Parenting styles, coping strategies, and the expression of homesickness,” conducted by Karin S. Nijhof et al. in the Netherlands and published in the Journal of Adolescence.

6. Reduced Risk Of Behavioral Issues

Behavioral issues are undesirable or disruptive behaviors that affect an individual’s functioning or well-being. Authoritative parenting has advantages over authoritarian parenting in behavior because authoritative parents establish a strong emotional bond and appropriate discipline, reducing the risk of behavioral issues. Parental hostility and rejection from authoritarian parents foster anger and frustration, leading to higher levels of antisocial behavior. Children and adolescents of authoritative parents have less alcohol, tobacco, and illegal use than individuals raised by authoritarian parents, according to a 2016 study, “Role of parenting styles in adolescent substance use: results from a Swedish longitudinal cohort study,” conducted by Knut Sundell et al. in Sweden and published in BMJ Open.

7. Long-Term Outcomes

Long-term outcomes of parenting styles are factors that create a lasting impact on the children’s lives.  Authoritative parenting has advantages over authoritarian parenting in outcomes because authoritative parenting is associated with the most beneficial and positive outcomes for children and adolescents. The warm and controlled authoritative upbringing causes children to be independent, self-reliant, self-controlled, exploratory, and content. Children with authoritative parents are confident and have more chances of life success. Authoritarian parenting increases the risk of antisocial behavior. The rigid environment and lack of independence increase the risks of mental health problems like anxiety and anorexia nervosa (an eating disorder characterized by fear of gaining weight). Children who grow up with authoritarian parents have low self-esteem and high levels of aggression.

8. Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation is regulating one’s own to guide thinking and actions. Authoritative parenting has advantages over authoritarian parenting in emotional intelligence development because authoritative parents provide appropriate levels of control and autonomy, allowing children to understand emotions without the help of others. Authoritarian parents constantly criticize and discipline children’s emotional expressions, forcing children to please their parents instead of developing emotional self-awareness.

Advantages Of Authoritative Parenting Over Authoritarian Parenting

What Are The Main Advantages Of Authoritarian Parenting Over Authoritative Parenting?

The main advantages of authoritarian parenting over authoritative parenting include clear boundaries, discipline and control, respect, the prevention of rebellious behavior, leadership status, cultural compliance, simplicity, and academic success. Below are the authoritarian parenting advantages in the short term.

1. Clear Boundaries

Clear boundaries in authoritarian parenting involve “absolute standards” or strict standards of conduct that children must follow without negotiation. Authoritarian parenting has advantages over authoritative parenting in clear boundaries because authoritarian parents maintain rigid expectations, emphasizing clear boundaries in the hierarchies between parents and children. Authoritative parents enforce rules but are attentive to the child’s needs, according to a 2021 study titled “Types of Parenting Styles and Effects On Children,” by Terrence Sanvictores et al., published in StatsPearls.

2. Discipline And Control

Authoritarian parenting highlights discipline, control, and establishing clear rules and high standards. Authoritarian parenting has advantages over authoritative parenting in discipline because children with authoritarian parents learn to manage their actions and resist negative impulses due to the expected consequences of misbehavior. Authoritarian parents often use harsh punishment to emphasize compliance, leading children to adapt by learning self-management and control. Authoritative parenting promotes interactive communication, resulting in less control and discipline, according to a 2018 study from China titled “Parenting Styles and Parent-Adolescent Relationships: The Mediating Roles of Behavioral Autonomy and Parental Authority,” by Xinwen Bi et al., published in Frontiers in Psychology.

3. Appearance of Respect For Authority

Respect for authority, according to authoritarian parents, often means immediate compliance without disagreement. Authoritarian parenting has advantages over authoritative parenting in this type of respect. Children with authoritarian parents comply with demands from authority without question, leading to a strong sense of conformity and obedience to rules and laws. Authoritarian parents do not have tolerance for disagreement, leading to seemingly respectful behavior out of fear. Authoritative parents encourage verbal give-and-take and explain the reasoning behind the rules. Children with authoritative parents are more confident and act less timid in front of authorities. Having the self-confidence to ask questions or the reasoning to disagree with authority is sometimes interpreted as disrespect by authoritarian parents.

4. Prevention Of Risky Behaviors

Risky behaviors are actions that increase the likelihood of negative consequences or harm to oneself or others, involving physical, emotional, or social risks. Authoritarian parenting has advantages over authoritative parenting in preventing risky behavior because children with authoritarian parents have a strong sense of adherence to rules. Children are well-behaved to avoid punishments for misbehavior. However, the lack of autonomy often results in self-regulation difficulties, making children prone to disruptive and aggressive behaviors in the long run. Authoritative parents emphasize discipline and nurturing relationships, leading to challenges in immediate compliance, but children develop self-control and responsibility to inhibit risky behaviors in the long run.

5. Parental Leadership

Parental leadership in authoritarian parenting is characterized by high levels of demand and control. Authoritarian parenting has advantages over authoritative parenting in parental leadership because authoritarian parents prioritize strict discipline and obedience over positive interaction with children. Authoritarian parents respond to children’s questions with “Because I said so,” displaying authority and dominance based on positional power, compared to authoritative parents who engage in open and responsive dialogues with the child.

6. Cultural Context

Authoritarian parenting is most prominent in collectivist cultures that value group cohesion and see control as beneficial, while individualist cultures view parental control as cruel. Parenting styles often result in varying outcomes across societies. Authoritarian parenting was linked to positive academic outcomes for Hong Kong, African-American, and Chinese children, while European-American children benefited more from authoritative parenting, according to a 2012 study titled “Cultural Approaches to Parenting”  by Marc H. Bornstein at Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development and published in Parenting: Science and Practice. However, these advantages are not reproduced consistently in studies.

7. Clarity And Simplicity

Authoritarian parenting has advantages over authoritative parenting in clarity and simplicity because authoritarian parenting involves clear rules and expectations. Children with authoritarian parents are compelled to obey without question and refrain from expressing disagreement, resulting in a straightforward approach where children are expected to follow commands directly. Authoritative parenting involves reasoning and two-way give-and-take communication, which takes more time and patience.

8. Focus On Achievement And Success

Authoritarian parenting sometimes has advantages over authoritative parenting in achieving success in school because authoritarian parents set high expectations and enforce rules rigidly. Children are motivated to work harder for fear of punishment. However, this advantage has not been supported consistently in studies. For example, authoritative parenting was associated with higher grades than authoritarian parenting, according to a 2016 study titled ” The Relation of Parenting Style to Adolescent School Performance,” by  Sanford M. Dornbusch et al., published in Cognitive and Moral Development Academic Achievement in Adolescence.

Advantages Of Authoritarian Parenting Over Authoritative Parenting

What Are The Factors That Influence The Choice Between Authoritative And Authoritarian Parenting?

Factors that influence the choice between authoritative and authoritarian parenting include childhood experiences, socioeconomic status, occupational status, stress levels, mental health, attachment style, personality traits, and cultural background. Below are the factors that affect parents’ choices in parenting style, according to a 2019 study titled “Psychological factors contributing to parenting styles: A systematic review,” by Zahra Vafaeenejad et al., published in f1000 Research.

  • Childhood Experiences: A history of physical, sexual, or emotional abuse among parents is associated with negative parenting styles such as authoritarian parenting. Childhood maltreatment affects the parents’ interpersonal skills, resulting in poor interactions with children.
  • Socioeconomic Status (SES): Socioeconomic status refers to an individual’s social class or standing. Low SES diminishes parents’ capacity to create an environment that supports the child’s needs, resulting in authoritarian parenting. Most parents with low SES use physical punishment and expect obedience without reasoning.
  • Occupational Status: Blue-collar occupations (manual labor) require conformity and obedience, reinforcing the rigid and highly controlled nature of authoritarian parenting. White-collar occupations (office work) require creativity and independence, driving parents to adopt an authoritative parenting style.
  • Parenting Stress: Parenting stress occurs when the parents are unable to keep up with the demands of parenting. Authoritarian parenting is associated with high parenting stress. Distress in childcare compels parents to become rejective and less affectionate toward children.
  • Mental Health: Major depressive disorder (MDD) involves a depressed mood or loss of pleasure in activities. Parents with a history of MDD typically use authoritarian parenting styles. Psychological distress results in rigid disciplinary rules and physical punishment. Parents with MDD have low self-esteem, reduced self-efficacy, and negative attitudes toward parenting abilities, contributing to the choice of parenting style. Parents with relatively good mental health status typically adopt an authoritarian parenting style.
  • Attachment Style: Attachment style refers to the emotional bond formed between a child and the primary caregiver. A secure attachment style (healthy, positive attachment) results in an intimate and responsive parenting style. Insecure (lack of trust and security) and anxious (full of abandonment fear) attachments foster anger, low intimacy, and low participation in caregiving, resulting in authoritarian parenting.
  • Personality Trait: Personality trait refers to the relatively stable patterns of qualities that help a person define as a unique individual. Perfectionist parents usually put more pressure on children to avoid failure and maintain self-esteem, resulting in authoritarian parenting. Perfectionist parents who set high expectations for their children while remaining responsive are considered authoritative.
  • Cultural Background: Western culture emphasizes individuality, autonomy, and self-expression. Eastern culture and cultures influenced by Confucius prioritize discipline and control over children’s behaviors, resulting in an authoritarian parenting style.

Authoritative And Authoritarian Parenting Choice Factors

Is Authoritarian Parenting Effective?

No, authoritarian parenting is generally not considered effective because it creates emotional distress and undermines children’s autonomy, resulting in long-term issues such as low self-esteem, poor decision-making, and mental health issues. Authoritarian parenting is associated with lower school performance and more behavioral problems in some studies, including a 2018 study titled “How have parents raised their kids? Adolescent’s perception of parental responsiveness and demandingness,” by Naiana Dapieve Patias et al., published in Psico-USF.

Children with authoritarian parents are adept with a sense of right and wrong due to strict parental rules. However, the authoritarian parenting style breeds anger, frustration, and rebellion. Children rely on external validation, as authoritarian parents constantly criticize and give little understanding of opinions. The lack of independence and autonomy hinders the children’s overall individuation.

Children with authoritarian parents face academic problems and mental health problems like anxiety and anorexia nervosa (an eating disorder characterized by fear of gaining weight). Rigid coping styles often develop, contributing to high internalizing behavior. The children are more disappointed, shy, withdrawn, and less trusting.

The absence of parental guidance leads to anger management issues and ineffective decision-making. Poor self-esteem, stemming from a lack of independence, further complicates the ability to choose.

What Are The Examples Of Authoritarian Parenting?

Here are 9 examples of authoritarian parenting in everyday life.

  • Limiting Screen Time: An authoritarian parent strictly limits their child’s screen time to 30 minutes daily without any discussion or flexibility.
  • Playdate Rules: A child wants to play with friends after school, but the authoritarian parent imposes strict rules, allowing them to play only once a month and making decisions without the child’s input.
  • Bad Grades Punishment: When a child receives a bad grade, the authoritarian parent reacts with harsh punishments, such as taking away toys and banning video games for a month, instead of helping the child improve.
  • Study Habits Dictation: An authoritarian parent demands several hours of study each day, controlling academics and dictating study habits without considering the child’s needs or interests.
  • The Phrase “Because I Said So”: When a child questions a household rule, the authoritarian parent replies, “Because I said so,” expecting obedience without question and offering no further explanation.
  • “Eat or Go Hungry” Approach: The authoritarian parent enforces an “eat or go hungry” approach regarding meals, showing a lack of affection and nurturing by not considering the child’s food preferences or hunger cues.
  • Rule-Breaking Punishment: If a child breaks a minor rule, the authoritarian parent starts yelling and punishing rule-breaking harshly without explaining why the behavior is unacceptable.
  • Video Games Ban: An authoritarian parent bans video games entirely without discussion, makes decisions without input, and enforces strict rules, leaving the child feeling unheard.
  • Substance Use Reprimand: The authoritarian parent responds with criticism and punishment after discovering that their teenager has tried alcohol. There is no discussion of the dangers or guidance for making better choices.

Is Authoritative Parenting The Best?

Authoritative parenting is often considered the best parenting style because its balanced approach is associated with optimal child development.

There are four primary parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved. Authoritative parenting is the best and most effective because authoritative parenting involves a balance of warmth and firmness, clear communication, and high expectations that are demanding and responsive. This balanced approach leads to emotional stability, academic success, and strong social skills, key elements in raising well-rounded children. Children raised by authoritative parents often exhibit good behavior, self-confidence, and better emotional control because they experience nurturing care and structured guidance.

Authoritarian parenting is highly demanding but lacks warmth and responsiveness. Authoritarian parents focus on strict rules and obedience, often leading to children to follow the rules but struggle with self-esteem and emotional regulation.

Permissive parenting, while warm and indulgent, fails to set firm boundaries, which often results in children lacking discipline and self-control. Children with permissive parents often struggle with authority and responsibility despite feeling loved.

Uninvolved parenting is characterized by low responsiveness and low demands, often leading to emotional and behavioral issues in children due to a lack of structure and support.

What Are Examples Of Authoritative Parenting?

Here are 9 examples of authoritative parenting in everyday life.

  • Screen Time Rules: An authoritative parent sets clear expectations by establishing rules around screen time. Authoritative parents communicate these rules—such as allowing two hours of screen time after homework—and explain the importance of balancing academics and leisure.  Authoritative parents listen to their children’s opinions and encourage independence by allowing them to choose which programs or games to engage with.
  • Guidelines for Playdates: Authoritative parents set clear expectations by discussing and agreeing on a reasonable schedule. Authoritative parents listen to their child’s interests and ambitions, supporting decision-making and allowing expression of opinions while ensuring safety and well-being.
  • Academic Expectations: Authoritative parents avoid harsh punishment and shaming when children receive bad grades. Authoritative parents provide ample resources and encouragement to help the child improve and use positive reinforcement when progress is made. Authoritative parents are empathetic and compassionate, understanding that setbacks are opportunities to learn from experiences.
  • Study Habits: The authoritative parent collaborates with the child to establish a study routine that balances academics and leisure. They support decision-making and encourage independence, explaining the importance of good study habits and being consistent yet flexible to accommodate the child’s needs.
  • Family Rules: The authoritative parent explains and shares their reasoning when a child questions a rule. Authoritative parents allow the child to express their opinions and listen attentively, fostering a warm and nurturing environment where open communication is encouraged.
  • Fair and Consistent Discipline: The authoritative parent uses logical consequences and communicates calmly when rules are broken. Authoritative parents avoid harsh punishment and shaming, opting to be compassionate and empathetic. Authoritative parents explain why the behavior is unacceptable, helping the child learn from the experience.
  • Video Game Limits: The authoritative parent sets clear expectations by establishing rules about when and how long the child is allowed to play rather than banning video games. Authoritative parents communicate these rules and listen to the child’s perspective, supporting their interests while encouraging a balanced lifestyle.
  • Mealtime: The authoritative parent is empathetic and nurturing during meals, offering various healthy options and respecting the child’s preferences. Authoritative parents avoid shaming or forcing the child to eat, and they use natural consequences by having the child clean up if spills occur.
  • Substance Use: Authoritative parents have an open and compassionate conversation if they discover their teenager has tried alcohol. Authoritative parents explain the risks, listen to their child’s feelings, and avoid harsh punishment or withdrawing love. Authoritative parents support their children in making better decisions, fostering trust and understanding.

Can Authoritative Be Mixed With Authoritarian Parenting?

Yes, authoritative and authoritarian parenting styles can be mixed. A mix of parenting styles between parents is often found in families, according to a 2005 study titled “Correspondence between maternal and paternal parenting styles in early childhood,” by Adam Winsler et al., published in Early Childhood Research Quarterly.

Differences in parenting styles are associated with marital conflicts and child behavior problems despite their prevalence, according to a 2016 study titled “Differences in Perceived Parenting Style Between Mothers and Fathers: Implications for Child Outcomes and Marital Conflict,” by Adam Winsler et al., published in Journal of Child and Family Studies. The child’s outcomes were poorer when one parent was authoritative while the other was authoritarian. The combination often leads to complex dynamics. For example, the authoritarian parent enforces strict rules and responds to disobedience with harsh punishment or a “Because I said so” attitude, but the authoritative parent offers feedback and engages in regular communication.

Children with one authoritative parent performed better academically than children with non-authoritative parents who had the same parenting styles, according to a 1999 study titled “Adolescents’ Well-Being as a Function of Perceived Interparental Consistency,” by Laurence Steinberg et al., published in Journal of Marriage and the Family.

What Readers Are Saying

I'm a social worker and it is an eye opener for my clients. Thank You!